If-U-Missed-It, on the 30th of October, dem Bradenton Police arrest Jennifer Piranian for allegedly masturbating (oh no, ultimately for drug possession without a prescription) inside the lobby of Bradenton Starbucks, a place “known for making a great cup of coffee”. She yarn say she dey wait for a ride to the hospital.

Na the masturbation attract witnesses wey call the Police. The Police yarn say dem go carry am go Hospital to treat wetin she call “infection or spider bite” or snake bit only if she go allow them search her purse.

She gree and the officer allegedly found a glass pipe wey contain on top am cocaine. Police Station, straight!

As she begin change into her jail clothes, na em another pill drop for ground. Na 8mg Hydromorphone. 2nd charge, straight!

The rest na story….