Tag Archives: Pausibility

#Pausibility:  It Is So Easy To Start A War by Debayo Coker

Long before now, I have been carrying the inclination that I am going to write this piece but now I have the conviction of time to do it expressly. This is not an indictment on any religion or a section of the country. In fact, it is a pointer to all of us— globally—that everything is about to go down, if nothing is done in the quickest time possible.

I used to patronize one Brother Adamu. He was introduced into the compound by my landlord. He does some chores for us in the compound but for me I only allow him clean my jalopy. Many times I had to settle him even beyond what a typical industrial car wash would charge and sometimes I defray the bill of his primary principal when I see him lurking around for too long, calling out when he’s done cleaning Alhaji’s cars in order to be settled. This guy deserves that daily pittance however you view it, especially when he works to earn it; I thought each time I saw him hanging there. Adamu is an industrious young man. He had sold me his shoe shining business though I never patronized him but I appreciate the adroit with which he carries the small case beating it to call the Continue reading #Pausibility:  It Is So Easy To Start A War by Debayo Coker

#Pausibility: Gehazi, Vuvuzela-General And The Lesson For The New Generation By Adebayo Coker

gehaziThe diverse reactions that were triggered by the recent appointments of the President are funnily incredulous. Very soon we will hear Dauralization or Patriarchization. We voted PMB to deliver to us chenji then we complain when he selected his team. PMB has chosen the people he wants to work with; I hope when playtime comes he will consider some of us. September is a month to look forward to. My fear is that one of his aides has set his over-ambitious eyes on SAN(K)ship already.

Let’s move on to better things jor.

“Uncle, two fighting!” Continue reading #Pausibility: Gehazi, Vuvuzela-General And The Lesson For The New Generation By Adebayo Coker

#Pausibility: Ambode, Lagos Is A State Of Excellence! by Adebayo Coker

akinwumi-ambode-350x253My Dear Governor,

I checked my archive and found out that I have not congratulated my amiable governor on any platform yet, therefore I must correct my insensitivity to my immediate environment by extending my congratulations to you. Please sir, don’t tag it belated.

I am a Lagos boy who believes it will beneficial and great if we are in sync with the government at the centre; and I must commend the level of work done so far: quite an achievement in this short period. The photo-Ops tell it all.

But sir, I want to bring something to your notice. There is a road behind my house; it was built by your immediate predecessor, well-lit at night that the devil himself will have no darkness to veil himself with to perpetrate his typical devilry. Every night, even if there is no power in the neighbourhood, that light will come on. I have on many occasions, at night, taken a walk with my wife in the brightness of that light but today that road has become a menace as robbery activities are daily recorded thereon because our precious ‘ Fashola light’, as my neighbours will refer to it, is out. Not that Fashola took it with him but someone is forgetting to turn on the switch of those lamps, regularly.

Continue reading #Pausibility: Ambode, Lagos Is A State Of Excellence! by Adebayo Coker

#Pausibility: An Altar Call For Fr. Kukah by Adebayo Coker

KukahDear Sir,

Calvary greetings to you in the name of our Lord, Jesus Christ.

Although I have not written you letters in private that you refused to respond to, getting through to you through this medium is a matter of choice; a choice aimed at correcting the many banalities flying around about your most esteemed office.

I fell in love with your classic elocution and outspokenness when I was in my late teens during the Oputa Panel. You sat as the secretary of that Reconciliation Panel. Now I am in my mind 30s.
Continue reading #Pausibility: An Altar Call For Fr. Kukah by Adebayo Coker

#Pausibility:  Modulating Our Knotty Affiliations by Adebayo Coker

affiliation“How good and how pleasant it would be, before God and man to see the unification of all…”
– Bob Marley, Africa Unite.

That a man is amongst many connections a son, a brother, a friend, a classmate, a colleague, an uncle, a community leader, a tribesman, a state man, a country man… His many affiliations are brought into play at different levels of his life but let me share this experience of mine with you.

I know a big farmer. His primary goal is to ensure everything works not because his other investments are not yielding good returns but he made me understand that if he closes down the farm the aftershock will be greater than what ordinary eyes can behold. That made me cherish his ingenuity and zeal in ensuring that everything works even though it wasn’t that smooth running; such a large farm, especially with the diverse expertise that he needed to run it efficiently. So he sent his relatives to acquire skills in one Continue reading #Pausibility:  Modulating Our Knotty Affiliations by Adebayo Coker

#Pausibility: (Ad)Dressing A Cesspot by Adebayo Coker

corruptionThere is a Yoruba saying: ko si ba se ma se se ebolo ti ko ni run igbe. No matter how expensively garbed a beggar is, his beggarly mentality will have him betrayed. These past few days, social media as well as the traditional media went agog with protests against the soulless wardrobe allowance of the members of the National Assembly. I am glad we are getting there gradually. My joy is that at the end, our consciousness will rise to a point that we will realize that the electors at all times retain the ultimate power to hire and fire at anytime, not necessarily only during the election year. There is a part of the constitution that says we can recall any elected official that is misbehaving or not performing to expectation. But I beg to differ on the recent hashtags because they are just unnecessary. Very unnecessary I must add. Haven’t you read in the book of Political Insouciance, that it is better for millions of the populace to go hungry while their representatives loom large in opulence? Haven’t you also read that it is better to clothe lawmakers because they are usually in a maddening state of nakedness anytime, anyway? Just few weeks ago, I wrote about Continue reading #Pausibility: (Ad)Dressing A Cesspot by Adebayo Coker

#Pausibility: Voices From The Hallowed Chambers by Adebayo Coker

Nigeria-National-AssemblyMy dear President,

It will be too early in the day to start sending you notes but this is very important especially with the task you have before you. It is an enormous task and it is bothering me already how you will start.  Just last week I asked that people should give you some space especially when we are awaiting some deliverables in about 80 days time. But as it is, my impatience to tone some words to you cannot endure a second longer.

Early March this year, I encountered one of the most gentlemen I ever come across in my short existence. He calls Jagaban Bola because they were contemporaries in Mobil. He acknowledged the sagacity of Bola on any given field of his interest. He was even jumping like a puppy while expressing his joy of being alive to witness your coming back to serve the nation. He congratulated my generation that we Continue reading #Pausibility: Voices From The Hallowed Chambers by Adebayo Coker

#Pausibility: The Frailty Of Our Ingenuity by Adebayo Coker

InauguaDear Compatriots,

We sure had a wonderful Inauguration last Friday. It was awesome even though there were obvious lapses in the protocols during the Swearing-in proper and other activities that followed. From the foregoing, you should be able to tell what I am set out to talk about. The side dis(at)traction!

These past few weeks I have deliberately fed my laziness to blog. Not necessarily because I couldn’t write anything but I knew the last few weeks of Jonathan’s administration were tales of woes and that was what many bloggers cum columnists would air . I was right as so many valedictory notes I read were just as I had thought. Jonathan, A Failure! Scorecard…!! Good Riddance…!!! Continue reading #Pausibility: The Frailty Of Our Ingenuity by Adebayo Coker

#PAUSIBILITY:  Thank You!  For What? by Adebayo Coker

KEROSINE QUEUE/PRESS-2/MY DOCUMENT/MY DOCUMENT/JUNE 09 NIGERIANS STRUGGLING TO BUY KEROSINE AT NNPC MEGA STATION IN ABUJA ON WEDNESDAY (10/6/09). PHOTO; NAN
KEROSINE QUEUE/PRESS-2/MY DOCUMENT/MY DOCUMENT/JUNE 09
NIGERIANS STRUGGLING TO BUY KEROSINE AT NNPC MEGA STATION IN ABUJA ON WEDNESDAY (10/6/09). PHOTO; NAN

Last week Thursday, I got a shark-bite feeling that fuel scarcity inflicts on one. I got the news that PMS was being sold at a filling station in Ajuwon and I harmed myself with a 25 litre keg, hoping that at least I could get a scoop that would be enough for me to power my generator (contrary to the  ads, there hasn’t been power in my locality for days running) so I may at least submit my column for the week; but I returned home frustrated.

True to the news, fuel was being sold and I quickly joined the long queue.  For several hours that I was there, I couldn’t get to the nozzle even though I saw that the product was being dispensed. Some street urchins came with a truckload of kegs, hijacked the nozzle from the attendant and sold the product to themselves. Immediately a keg got filled, they would move it few metres away from the filling station and start hawking it at Two Hundred and Fifty Naira per litre (the pump price from the filling station was Continue reading #PAUSIBILITY:  Thank You!  For What? by Adebayo Coker

#PAUSIBILITY: WE ARE AFRICANS! by Adebayo Coker

(Editorial note: This was received about a week ago.)

africaaaMy dear people, I must start by congratulating us for the consolidation of democracy. Two weeks ago we had both Gubernatorial and House of Assembly elections. Even though there were pockets of skirmishes, I can submit that we are all determined to make this system work and with time the imbroglio will be dealt with, then our nation will be one of the exemplified democracies in the world.

I could not write my column last week because I was busy coordinating my son’s first birthday. As I moved around town during that period, a thought kept coming to mind: If posters could cry, we all would be flapping our arms and feet through the pool of tears that our nation space would be submerged in. Also if posters could laugh we all would be running with a finger in each ear in a bid to block out the maddening Continue reading #PAUSIBILITY: WE ARE AFRICANS! by Adebayo Coker

#PAUSIBILITY: The Day Of Reckoning Is Here by Adebayo Coker

cokerrIt will be gubernatorial elections tomorrow. No doubt, I will urge everyone to go out en masse, just as we did during the Presidential Elections, and cast our votes for any candidate of our choice. Nobody is going to drown especially if you take caution and do not go near the lagoon if you cannot swim.

Please and please, stop degrading the palace of The Oba of Lagos. We all have failed to realize that there is no  superhuman. What happened was just an act of the gods as it occurred to me that someone had been sharing in the drink of the deities for a long time but the day in question was just the day of  reckoning.

The task before us is to make a choice of who will govern our states. And I wouldn’t want us to be carried away by any side attraction or distraction. Continue reading #PAUSIBILITY: The Day Of Reckoning Is Here by Adebayo Coker

#PAUSIBILITY: Is The ‘D’ In The D-Day For Doom? by Adebayo Coker

map-broken-nigeria-mKindly slam that song Natural Mystic by Bob Marley into your stereo and let it roll as you read this piece.

The Yorubas will say: ti a ba da ogun odun, ogun odun ape, ti a ba da ogbon osu, ogbon osu ako – the fraudulent twist of time cannot last eternal.

Tomorrow we will all go to the polls to assert our constitutional right and also perform our statutory duty as  Nigerians. Some of us would have loved to put this behind us long before now, especially on the 14th of February when this election was earlier slated for before #Pausibility: That Cretinous Shift. Continue reading #PAUSIBILITY: Is The ‘D’ In The D-Day For Doom? by Adebayo Coker

#PAUSIBILITY: WHAT A ‘DOLLARED’ MOMENT! by Adebayo Coker

interactiveDear Sir,

Please do not consider the homophone of this caption but the sincerity that is inherent in the message.

Sir, many Nigerians have written many notes to you but I know you got one in particular:  OBJ’s.

I know some of your aides will read this message but will never show it to you. You have made us to understand that going by the composition of your cabinet, a high quantum of the advice your aides give to you are useless, and my conclusion that they will not allow you to read this piece is based on that premise. Continue reading #PAUSIBILITY: WHAT A ‘DOLLARED’ MOMENT! by Adebayo Coker

#PAUSIBILITY: Solecism of this Transformation by Adebayo Coker

TAPEOrdinarily, I do a weekly submission but my musing wouldn’t let me rest.

I am sure you will wonder the kind of paragraphs that will follow this opening. Some people will develop further defence when am done answering this question due to their embryonic stance on Americanism; they usually would say “the fact that it worked in America doesn’t mean it is good for us”. To this set of people I will say I agree with them to the extent that until when we are ready to develop our own peculiar models to proffering solutions to our own peculiar problems, I will continue to use suitable examples from any part of the world.

Let me quickly draw a line of relationship between Hurricane Sandy and Boko Haram. Although they both proffered a saving grace scenario to the leaders of two wonderful countries in the world, whose popularity amongst their people was drowning, but like any survivalist would grapple for any thin line of hope that is likely to sustain their continued existence. The opportunity for redemption came. One of the leaders saw and acted accordingly as is expected of a leader who is in sync with his people but the other frittered away his chance.jonathansambo

Hurricane Sandy affected some parts of the United States Of America at about the peak of the decline of President Barrack Obama’s popularity. The Americans waited for him at the poll to send him out of the White House because so many of his promises were believed to be mere verbosity with little or no chance of reality. The election year came and the campaign started; movement from state to state, typical of political campaigns. True, it was another round of grandiosity from the first black man President of the most powerful nation in the world, but along the way came Hurricane Sandy; very disastrous (not the first hurricane or disaster though) but was one of the (if not THE ONLY)  saving grace of Obama in that election year. Barrack abandoned all campaigns and went to sympathise with the bereaved. He did it so genuinely that many yet-to-decide Americans at that time, even when they knew it will be another term of same and the same, gave their votes to him nonetheless. He won with a landslide victory.

Boko Haram is a menace that has been terrifying the entire Nigeria nation (whichever way we look at it we are all in this together), the most populous black nation in the world. The Shekau scourge became intense just few years ago. When the whole world was wondering what the FG was doing to address the issue and were ready to their give utmost support to the government to get this hydra- headed monster annihilated once and for all the government saw another rhythm to it that the rest of the world was not listening to. They claimed this is a guerilla war, not conventional and will require some level of expertise to address. Quite understandable. But for six years that the FG sought training of military personnel, chaos was let lose. Thousands of lives were lost. People were dehumanized and killed. Girls and boys were kidnapped, conscripted into the sect and used to cause further mayhem on Nigerian communities. Parts of the country were seized and flags hoisted establishing the sect’s territory within Nigeria, a sovereign nation!

In the reign of all this, the President saw nothing threatening as long as it was not anywhere near Aso Rock. He did not act as expected of a Commander-in-Chief. Rather, he partied and danced on the graves of so many lives that were lost. He enjoyed his campaigns of calumny till the last minute, sometime two weeks ago.

Just as election came and Sandy presented a saving grace for Obama, so also election came and what was considered inconsequential so long as it could be used as a factor in a political permutation, is now a curse for this President.

Had this administration acted rightly six years ago by decimating or working assiduously to decimate the insurgents, some Nigerians will, at least, see a path of moral recompense to the President by giving him their votes because of that act of bravery. The President lacks every moral right to ask for any reimbursement whatsoever. His prehensile associates and aides miscalculated on that.

The recent exploits being recorded by the Nigeria Armed Forces in routing the insurrection just after the six weeks solecism, is a pointer that truly and truly, this government knew what to do all the while to stem this menace but chose the path of wickedness as they had thought that by allowing the crisis to fester ( I suspect complicity), a State of Emergency will be declared in the Northeast, then the PDP will have a rollercoaster ride back to power… the heart of man is desperately wicked

In the face of this deliberate delay to score a cheap political point which has led to loss of lives and properties, I hereby endorse CHANGE as the only panacea to this transformation  that polarized us along sectional and sectarian lines. A transformation that underestimated the enemies of Nigeria bringing about a Rwandani-treat to our people. A transformation that makes me buy fuel to power my generator to watch the President on national TV, launching a power station purportedly generating some immeasurable megawatts of power. A transformation that has turned unyielding goons to sudden billionaires. A transformation being led by a President that wants to enjoy the full benefits and appurtenances of office but has shamelessly failed (on many occasions) to stand up to the functionality and responsibility of office. A re-commissioning transformation.

I laugh.

BTW

Is Marilyn on vacation?

PAUSIBILITY: My Conversation With A Jonathanian by Adebayo Coker

Just yesterday, after considering the brain power that I would expend in order to come up with my submission for this week, which I found to be far reaching, I decided to engage a classmate of mine who has been posting all sorts on his Facebook timeline lately in a mental exercise that will jeer me to speed. It is not in my character to engage someone I consider a friend in a conversation via their timelines, I do it via private chats. This particular chat happened via Facebook messenger and I must hint that this my friend works at Wadata House.

Continue reading PAUSIBILITY: My Conversation With A Jonathanian by Adebayo Coker

PAUSIBILITY: A Cretinous Shift by Adebayo Coker

For the first time since the inception of our new democratic dispensation, a vast majority of Nigerians speak with one voice; old, young, professionals, artisans, educated and enlightened. People speak of their readiness to participate in this election but the maddening quest of a single man and his cretinous associates to hold on to power at all cost, pushed them to make a dive of a lifetime which I foresee will earn them broken skulls. In a high profile wrist-twisting show of power, the lazy service chiefs, acting under the directives of their Grand Commander, forced our democracy to come to a strategic halt by their singular act to stand against the wish of the people to go to the polls and effect the change they so yearn for and deserve; but just like I said last week, this is a change that will come to be, it is the Movement of The People (MOP). Continue reading PAUSIBILITY: A Cretinous Shift by Adebayo Coker

#Pausibility: Functional Juxtaposition by Adebayo Coker

My good people, I hope the year is starting on a good note for you, especially with the ongoing political gimmickry that is clogging our clouds? The furor is a ploy to get you to submit to either a true leader or a loot leader, and the kind of leader that will emerge depends Continue reading #Pausibility: Functional Juxtaposition by Adebayo Coker

#PAUSIBILTY: The Malfeasance of Joey The Donkey, As The King Of The Jungle by Adebayo Coker

GEJI want to tell a story and I pray you follow me.

Joey is a donkey, strong but only amiably useful in the transport of man and goods from one point to the other, even to the present day. Each time other strong members of the jungle go on expedition, they ride Joey and leave him at the entrance of their rendezvous. Joey will be left alone to graze about but must surely come back on time to convey the strong men back to their various destinations. Very unfair you will say.

One day , just  as another meeting was being hel Continue reading #PAUSIBILTY: The Malfeasance of Joey The Donkey, As The King Of The Jungle by Adebayo Coker

#PAUSIBILITY: ADULATION FOR THAT LAGOS BOY by Adebayo Coker

fashola1Let me start by wishing you a Happy New Year. Many things in your life will be turned around for good and you will record greater achievements this year; albeit you have to make the right decisions.

I had wanted to drop this piece last week but felt it would be more appropriate for the start of a new year.

I had looked through the stream of politicians we have around here and decided to celebrate just one that has a semblance of Santa Continue reading #PAUSIBILITY: ADULATION FOR THAT LAGOS BOY by Adebayo Coker

#PAUSIBILITY: THE FRUIT. THE TREE. THE ORCHARD by Adebayo Coker

goodluck_buhari_1I must start by tendering my unreserved apology to my followers for not being able to deliver last week. I had a certain deadline that hung to my mind like a vagitus of my son, I had to attend to it.

Our political climate is becoming more and more interesting as our relative ‘peace’ is further threatened by so much perforation of the societal layers by the fetid release of political gases that will evaporate In no time. So I will implore you, not to be carried away.

The primaries are done with results of the clinging of party tickets by tyros and the re-emergence of the old order. Then we will be graduating to the ‘secondary’ come February 2015,  and eventually  matriculated into the ‘tertiary’ starting 29th May, 2015 all through till 2019 before we can reasonably convoke,  successfully or otherwise depends on the choice we make. Continue reading #PAUSIBILITY: THE FRUIT. THE TREE. THE ORCHARD by Adebayo Coker