Tag Archives: President

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The plantation and the metamorphosis of BAT by ‘Lakunle Jaiyesimi

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Photo credit: Julia Boland, USFWS

Once upon a time, time time! There was a man and his name was BAT and so he BATified his people, he protected them and provided for them as best as he could. It was words on the streets that BAT looked out for his own and many thought that he had good intentions, especially for those that worked on a plantation that he took ownership of. He was the king of the plantation, and everyun, not really everyun, deferred to him when it came to the affairs of the plantation. 

Continue reading The plantation and the metamorphosis of BAT by ‘Lakunle Jaiyesimi →
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Good news, Nigeria? by ‘Lakunle Jaiyesimi

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(Nigeria’s general elections that stopped it all!)

From the pulpits across Nigeria, it’s good news. From the hinterlands to the dense streets of Lagos cities, majority of Nigerians seem upbeat about the coming elections, approaching it with cautious enthusiasm and are purveyors of the good news with a smile. Be reminded that the next elections are just few minutes away.

Photo credit: The Nation

Good news, Nigeria? Only if the simple dreams of Nigerians, with basic expectations, can inch closer to becoming true. In darkness and with hunger, just a little hope is good news disguised.

Photo credit: CNN
Continue reading Good news, Nigeria? by ‘Lakunle Jaiyesimi →
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LETTER FROM THE SON OF MAN. Vol3 by ‘Lakunle Jaiyesimi

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Dear Hannibal,

“This is a court of law, young man, not a court of justice”, are words attributed to Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr., one of the U.S. Supreme Court’s great Justices (as he then was). They were uttered in response to the argument of a young lawyer who mentioned severally while arguing that his client sought justice before the court.

Again, and in response to your well-articulated exposé on the mob-action against the wellbeing of justice in our dear country, I reiterate the words of Holmes, “This is a court of law, young man, not a Court of Justice”. Continue reading LETTER FROM THE SON OF MAN. Vol3 by ‘Lakunle Jaiyesimi →

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LETTER FROM THE SON OF MAN- VOL.2 by ‘Lakunle Jaiyesimi

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Dear Hannibal,

It is sad that the world, as used to be, has changed or keeps changing. Though, maybe this change is expected as there is nothing constant in life, even the invisible ropes that hold the spherical earth in space move from place to place, time after time. If our long-dead ancestors return for a visit to earth, they should be shocked at what we have turned the world into, chasing the vanities that printed or virtual monies grant those that out-compete themselves at living out luxuries that have outlived greater past competitors while reflected on the walls are shadows of poverty, hunger, strife, wars, blood and death. Continue reading LETTER FROM THE SON OF MAN- VOL.2 by ‘Lakunle Jaiyesimi →

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LETTER FROM THE SON OF MAN by ‘Lakunle Jaiyesimi

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Dear Hannibal,

To say I am quite perturbed by your aloofness in the years gone by is an understatement. So much has happened in that spate of time such that, without hearing from you, I have had to make do with what I am fed by the gagged press and pages that are desperate to break even or maintain their status of leadership in mainstream media. Whichever came in handy, the move away from investigative journalism throws up news that fall below the standard that edifies the audience. As a result, going beyond the “turmoil pervading the world in recent times” as you pointed out in your last letter, the blend of truths and untruths have done more to complicate the acquisition of knowledge from modern media and schools. Continue reading LETTER FROM THE SON OF MAN by ‘Lakunle Jaiyesimi →

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PERFECTING THE COLLAPSE OF HEMORRHAGING ADMINISTRATIVE ORDER by Olumide Awoyemi

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GerontocracyFollowing the directive of the Visitor that the university senate convenes a meeting to nominate an acting vice chancellor, I have found myself in a deep moral quandary as I reflect on the probable evolution of scenarios and their implications for the sanity of an environment otherwise consecrated for learning. It is a dilemma between my idealistic love of democracy and the practicality of deliberate gerontocracy as we rummage through this mud; a huge shame that the University finds itself dancing shoki naked in the village square.

The unprecedented nature of this challenge in the annals of university administration in Nigeria and the particularities of Obafemi Awolowo University senate incite fear and anxiety that the whole exercise could turn out to be the beginning of another journey through a labyrinth. It offends one’s republican ideal that most of the decisions, which have almost brought the University to its knees are democratically taken in an avowedly democratic institution constituted by men and women of highest learning. Continue reading PERFECTING THE COLLAPSE OF HEMORRHAGING ADMINISTRATIVE ORDER by Olumide Awoyemi →

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WHAT THE LAST GOVERNMENT FORGOT by ‘Lakunle Jaiyesimi

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ForgetThe Presidential inauguration has come and gone. The old (if there was any) government had gone and the new is here. Like they say, the dog must hit the ground running. The previous government, it must be noted, had been accused of ‘doing’ so many things wrongfully but I’m afraid before the handing-over, she was not so much accused of what she was supposed to do that she didn’t do.

Of the things that government was accused of, corruption (or stealing, if you mind) was prime; others may be aiding-and-abetting of eli-thieves, institutionalized state-pardon for criminals, widespread employment of rogues and never-do-wells (for them to come-and-chop), iro ojukoroju (blatant falsehoods), political indiscretions and…fill in the gaps. And… Continue reading WHAT THE LAST GOVERNMENT FORGOT by ‘Lakunle Jaiyesimi →

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#Pausibility: The Frailty Of Our Ingenuity by Adebayo Coker

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InauguaDear Compatriots,

We sure had a wonderful Inauguration last Friday. It was awesome even though there were obvious lapses in the protocols during the Swearing-in proper and other activities that followed. From the foregoing, you should be able to tell what I am set out to talk about. The side dis(at)traction!

These past few weeks I have deliberately fed my laziness to blog. Not necessarily because I couldn’t write anything but I knew the last few weeks of Jonathan’s administration were tales of woes and that was what many bloggers cum columnists would air . I was right as so many valedictory notes I read were just as I had thought. Jonathan, A Failure! Scorecard…!! Good Riddance…!!! Continue reading #Pausibility: The Frailty Of Our Ingenuity by Adebayo Coker →

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#PAUSIBILITY: WHAT A ‘DOLLARED’ MOMENT! by Adebayo Coker

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interactiveDear Sir,

Please do not consider the homophone of this caption but the sincerity that is inherent in the message.

Sir, many Nigerians have written many notes to you but I know you got one in particular:  OBJ’s.

I know some of your aides will read this message but will never show it to you. You have made us to understand that going by the composition of your cabinet, a high quantum of the advice your aides give to you are useless, and my conclusion that they will not allow you to read this piece is based on that premise. Continue reading #PAUSIBILITY: WHAT A ‘DOLLARED’ MOMENT! by Adebayo Coker →

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MR. PRESIDENT: FURTHERING THE SCOPE OF ASSUMPTIONS by ‘Lakunle Jaiyesimi

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amalgaaTogether, let us assume there is a Nigerian called Peremoi, who has chosen not to vote in the forthcoming elections which some persons have rechristened FeBuhari 14. Is this out of ignorance? No, otherwise!

Voting in any democratic election is a sanction of the foundation of that particular democracy. As a sanction, voting in Nigeria is a way of saying, “’Yes, I agree that I am a Nigerian, that Nigeria has been properly founded and that ‘we, the people’ were actually we, the people who came to a roundtable to collectively agree to function together as a nation, draw up a modus operandi for how we will live together as one indivisible entity; leaving behind the tags that hitherto set us apart, religion, tribe, level of education and possible other sentiments.”’ At the moment, this is not so; Continue reading MR. PRESIDENT: FURTHERING THE SCOPE OF ASSUMPTIONS by ‘Lakunle Jaiyesimi →

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MR. PRESIDENT: LET’S PLAY A GAME OF ASSUMPTIONS by ‘Lakunle Jaiyesimi

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heyLet’s quickly assume that there was never the Northern or Southern Protectorates; hence, no need for their amalgamation into what is today known as Nigeria, what would I be and what would you be? Today, you will not be the president of Nigeria and I will not be a Nigerian because there will be nothing like Nigeria. While I will be Continue reading MR. PRESIDENT: LET’S PLAY A GAME OF ASSUMPTIONS by ‘Lakunle Jaiyesimi →

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ASKING QUESTIONS: SHALL THIS NATION STAND? BY ‘Lakunle Jaiyesimi

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jossa“Shall this Nation stand?” is a mere rhetorical question because what would one expect of a human being whose body parts (head, eyes, nose, limbs, trunk, toes etc) were assembled from different species of animals and joined with dirty-water-soaked piece of tissue paper rather than welded? It is a question, nonetheless.

The visit of Femi Falana, SAN, to the Obafemi Awolowo University, Ile-Ife on Thursday, the 4th of December, 2014, where he was the Guest Lecturer at the Faculty of Environment and Design Management Guest Lecture Series, titled, “Legal Rights to Environment” gave Continue reading ASKING QUESTIONS: SHALL THIS NATION STAND? BY ‘Lakunle Jaiyesimi →

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“NIGERIA: WE ‘HATE’ THEE” by ‘Lakunle Jaiyesimi

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JosssMy recent trip to Jos (J-town) of Nigeria was an eye-opener. I was hitherto, insignificantly, aware of the magnitude of what I did not know. And at the end of my stay in Jos, en route the humble source of mankind, Ile-Ife, I remembered the words of my loving grandfather, Moses Olaonipekun Akinyode, which he somewhat usually belched out after a protracted meditation, “Nigeria: we ‘hate’ thee”.

Jos is a country other than a city in a state within a country, with her own laws, people and (guess I’m wrong) weather. If anyone is in a hurry (and wouldn’t await my views) to deconstruct that claim, he or she should pay, even if a few days, visit to this lovely city (which I’m certain represents several others within Nigeria). Continue reading “NIGERIA: WE ‘HATE’ THEE” by ‘Lakunle Jaiyesimi →

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#PAUSIBILITY: We Must Scale This Fence by Adebayo Coker

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NasssI was not able to watch the clip of the jumping legislators till last week Sunday. Remember I told you I didn’t want anyone to put sand in the garri I was enjoying at Ake Arts and Books Festival (AABF).

By the way, for some of us that are complaining about the dearth of the reading culture and literary life in Nigeria, we should endeavor to revive it by organizing, promoting and attending literary events like AABF, LABAF and the likes. I must commend the good work done by Lola Shoneyin and her team on the smooth organization of AABF. Kudos!

Back to where we were. Continue reading #PAUSIBILITY: We Must Scale This Fence by Adebayo Coker →

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#Pausibility: Asceticism vs Epicureanism by Adebayo Coker

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austerityEarlier this week, our polymath Prime Minister, who had on many occasions ‘rebased ‘our minds that our  economy is standing gidigba, finally announced that we should expect  some measure of imposition on our ‘normal’ life as a nation.

I can’t imagine a Nigeria where a minister can’t ride a three-million-dollar car; a Nigeria where a Director in a government parastatal  can’t own properties estimated at billions of naira; a Nigeria where gross ingratiation at the expense of the masses and massive corruption can’t be attenuated to mere pilfering… that will be an abnormal Nigeria.

They brazen- show feigned statistics that are far from the realities of the living conditions of the masses. God knows how they come about those figures. How can an outsider tell you the interior of your house better than you know it yourself? The fish in my pot I know so well. So I need no Fitch to tell me what I know. Victoria’s secret is in public glare. Continue reading #Pausibility: Asceticism vs Epicureanism by Adebayo Coker →

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#PAUSIBILITY: EXCUSE ME! THIS IS A SECULAR STATE by Adebayo Coker

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Fashola-360x225My good friend and brother, Jeff Underwood asked me earlier in the week if I’m considering posting any other thing on my blog apart from politics. It’s a good question as I have asked myself the same over and again; in fact, I attempted being apolitical on my blog sometime back but to tell you the truth, there is no way one would demand change in this clime without being political, a passivist or Dokubo-like, especially with the rodents that parade themselves as leaders because people with good brains lack the will to offer themselves for service. We must start considering our stance. Enough said.

The Government of the Federation or of a State shall not adopt any religion as State Religion.

Section 10 of the 1999 Constitution of The Federal Republic of Nigeria.

The motto of the Federal Republic of Nigeria shall be Unity and Faith, Peace and Progress. Accordingly, national integration shall be actively encouraged, whilst discrimination on the grounds of place of origin, sex, religion, status, ethnic or linguistic association or ties shall be prohibited. Continue reading #PAUSIBILITY: EXCUSE ME! THIS IS A SECULAR STATE by Adebayo Coker →

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GEJ: THIS PASTOR NEEDS A PRIVATE JET by Monsieur Mobutu

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PRIVATE-JETS-IN-NIGERIA‘”Go ye therefore into the world and teach my gospel,” that kinda thing was what the Lord told us and the disciples. Going to all corners of the world, you’ll agree with me sir, has become difficult without a private jet especially for us Pastors. That is the reason I’m addressing this love letter to you (note sir, not to your office as President of the country sir).

Please, kindly disregard the advent and roles played by the ubiquitous social media in connecting anyone with the rest of the world from the recesses of his/her room. In fact, the social media rather extends the reach of Pastors, hence more work need to be done. In the fulfillment of our mandate as Pastors, there’s the need to get physical (You know what I mean not sensually and if your thought is sensual, then you may need my pastoral intervention) with the members of the globe who might have been ‘blessed’ by our messages on the social media or cable televisions across board. Continue reading GEJ: THIS PASTOR NEEDS A PRIVATE JET by Monsieur Mobutu →

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 #PAUSIBILITY:  PLAUSIBLE ALIBIS by Adebayo Coker

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images (1)I must quickly let you know that I have not had a good sleep for several days now, so if I don’t deliver as expected in this particular column, I hope you will understand  and still give me kudos for a job well done.

The foregoing typifies the mentality of the political leadership in this clime of ours and the saying, To whom much is given much is expected, is only operational as an idiomaticness that it is.

Tactical Maneuvering is the new one that we woke up to on Monday, when about 500 of our soldiers suddenly lost their geography sense and erroneously found themselves in the interior of Cameroon. The Defence Headquarters  had informed us that  the troops had gone for a regrouping. Yeparipa! Continue reading  #PAUSIBILITY:  PLAUSIBLE ALIBIS by Adebayo Coker →

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 #PAUSIBILITY: YOUR MONEY OR YOUR LIFE? by Adebayo Coker

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jobsMy fellow brothers and sisters in the labour market,

I hope you are doing fine despite the not too hopeful situation of our beloved nation? You wonder why I used the word, ‘fellow’?  Well, I am unemployed just as so many other people but I am never jobless as I have kept my mind busy working on ideas that I have long had in mind, one of which is being a columnist. I have two books to my credit: SOCIETAL FRAGMENTS and A MAN LIKE ME, both available on www.amazon.com. The truth is, writing is far more fulfilling for me though not financially rewarding, especially with the reading culture around here. But all the same I will not allow this dream of mine to wither or be stolen from me regardless of the dearth of hope that abounds. I will push on through till the world recognizes this light of mine.

I have to start on that note so that I’ll let you know that I share your pains. I feel the weight and bear the burden. At the moment, nothing seems to be working, but our world will be changed through our strong determination to achieve our goals. We have Continue reading  #PAUSIBILITY: YOUR MONEY OR YOUR LIFE? by Adebayo Coker →

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The Memoirs of Yomi “d drunk”, Very Short Story by Chibundo Ubachukwu

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This piece was written by Chibundo Ubachukwu and published on a sister site on the 21st of November, 2011. Then, it probably meant just a piece. Today, in retrospect, when next I encounter Chibundo, who incidentally is a Pharmacist, I’ll salute him like he was a Prophet.

“Dear President Goodluck Jonathan,

My name is Yomi Smart. Bimpe (my wife) says I’m incapable of rational thought because I’m a drunk. Silly rabbit, what does she know? Sadly, a prophet has no honour in his own house. But all my friends can confirm that I give the best of advice when under the influence. Also, my wife thinks you are a hypocritical politician – you have my permission to arrest her. On the other hand, I still see you as a leader who can jump start some necessary change in Nigeria. I hope you do! Continue reading The Memoirs of Yomi “d drunk”, Very Short Story by Chibundo Ubachukwu →