Tag Archives: Nigeria

#PAUSIBILITY: Is The ‘D’ In The D-Day For Doom? by Adebayo Coker

map-broken-nigeria-mKindly slam that song Natural Mystic by Bob Marley into your stereo and let it roll as you read this piece.

The Yorubas will say: ti a ba da ogun odun, ogun odun ape, ti a ba da ogbon osu, ogbon osu ako – the fraudulent twist of time cannot last eternal.

Tomorrow we will all go to the polls to assert our constitutional right and also perform our statutory duty as  Nigerians. Some of us would have loved to put this behind us long before now, especially on the 14th of February when this election was earlier slated for before #Pausibility: That Cretinous Shift. Continue reading #PAUSIBILITY: Is The ‘D’ In The D-Day For Doom? by Adebayo Coker

CHANGE IS COMING. SEEN IT? by ‘Lakunle Jaiyesimi

electionsOn Saturday, the 28th of March, 2015, Nigerians will troop out to vote in the first of elections that is adjudged to be the defining step of a long-awaited change. However way we look at it, this election will define the destiny of Nigeria, going forward, and beyond the business-as-usual that our leaders have made governance in the country.

As we so troop out, we should bear it in mind that we deserve change judging from where we are coming from. Be it a new regime of the incumbent or of an old or fresh hand, we demand new beginnings. Only hypocrites (and Nigeria boasts of many of them) would not admit that the country needs change. The contents of our meal tickets and plates must of necessity change, the outlook of our roads must change, the kidnap of school girls must stop, the delay of workers’ emoluments must change, the death of Nigerian Continue reading CHANGE IS COMING. SEEN IT? by ‘Lakunle Jaiyesimi

#PAUSIBILITY: WHAT A ‘DOLLARED’ MOMENT! by Adebayo Coker

interactiveDear Sir,

Please do not consider the homophone of this caption but the sincerity that is inherent in the message.

Sir, many Nigerians have written many notes to you but I know you got one in particular:  OBJ’s.

I know some of your aides will read this message but will never show it to you. You have made us to understand that going by the composition of your cabinet, a high quantum of the advice your aides give to you are useless, and my conclusion that they will not allow you to read this piece is based on that premise. Continue reading #PAUSIBILITY: WHAT A ‘DOLLARED’ MOMENT! by Adebayo Coker

Election 2015: The worst campaign in a decomcray

biometricEditorial note:

(The following constitutes the personal opinions of a concerned elderly Nigerian lady, which had been sent in about a week ago)

 

This 2015 elections campaign should go into the Guinness book of world records as the worst campaign the democratic world has ever witnessed. It beats one’s imagination to observe how men can cook up stories, slander, use very derogatory languages against fellow men, having been oblivious of the fact that elections campaign will last only a few weeks but the damage that indecorums may cause in the mind of our children will linger for the rest of their lives. Continue reading Election 2015: The worst campaign in a decomcray

Election and the game changers by Jane Chinelo

GEJGMBEditorial note:

(The following constitutes a personal account from a concerned elderly Nigerian lady, which had been sent in about a week ago)

 

From what is playing out on TV, I believe the main reason for postponing this election is borne out of PDP’s fear of losing the election. Probably, they needed more time to intensify their campaign and try to convince the general public. They observed that APC was gaining so much attention from the public despite all the campaigns of calumny. As much as possible, they are trying to promote the President, probably buy and pay keke-napep, motor park, some churches, drivers. I believe they are playing Continue reading Election and the game changers by Jane Chinelo

#PAUSIBILITY: Solecism of this Transformation by Adebayo Coker

TAPEOrdinarily, I do a weekly submission but my musing wouldn’t let me rest.

I am sure you will wonder the kind of paragraphs that will follow this opening. Some people will develop further defence when am done answering this question due to their embryonic stance on Americanism; they usually would say “the fact that it worked in America doesn’t mean it is good for us”. To this set of people I will say I agree with them to the extent that until when we are ready to develop our own peculiar models to proffering solutions to our own peculiar problems, I will continue to use suitable examples from any part of the world.

Let me quickly draw a line of relationship between Hurricane Sandy and Boko Haram. Although they both proffered a saving grace scenario to the leaders of two wonderful countries in the world, whose popularity amongst their people was drowning, but like any survivalist would grapple for any thin line of hope that is likely to sustain their continued existence. The opportunity for redemption came. One of the leaders saw and acted accordingly as is expected of a leader who is in sync with his people but the other frittered away his chance.jonathansambo

Hurricane Sandy affected some parts of the United States Of America at about the peak of the decline of President Barrack Obama’s popularity. The Americans waited for him at the poll to send him out of the White House because so many of his promises were believed to be mere verbosity with little or no chance of reality. The election year came and the campaign started; movement from state to state, typical of political campaigns. True, it was another round of grandiosity from the first black man President of the most powerful nation in the world, but along the way came Hurricane Sandy; very disastrous (not the first hurricane or disaster though) but was one of the (if not THE ONLY)  saving grace of Obama in that election year. Barrack abandoned all campaigns and went to sympathise with the bereaved. He did it so genuinely that many yet-to-decide Americans at that time, even when they knew it will be another term of same and the same, gave their votes to him nonetheless. He won with a landslide victory.

Boko Haram is a menace that has been terrifying the entire Nigeria nation (whichever way we look at it we are all in this together), the most populous black nation in the world. The Shekau scourge became intense just few years ago. When the whole world was wondering what the FG was doing to address the issue and were ready to their give utmost support to the government to get this hydra- headed monster annihilated once and for all the government saw another rhythm to it that the rest of the world was not listening to. They claimed this is a guerilla war, not conventional and will require some level of expertise to address. Quite understandable. But for six years that the FG sought training of military personnel, chaos was let lose. Thousands of lives were lost. People were dehumanized and killed. Girls and boys were kidnapped, conscripted into the sect and used to cause further mayhem on Nigerian communities. Parts of the country were seized and flags hoisted establishing the sect’s territory within Nigeria, a sovereign nation!

In the reign of all this, the President saw nothing threatening as long as it was not anywhere near Aso Rock. He did not act as expected of a Commander-in-Chief. Rather, he partied and danced on the graves of so many lives that were lost. He enjoyed his campaigns of calumny till the last minute, sometime two weeks ago.

Just as election came and Sandy presented a saving grace for Obama, so also election came and what was considered inconsequential so long as it could be used as a factor in a political permutation, is now a curse for this President.

Had this administration acted rightly six years ago by decimating or working assiduously to decimate the insurgents, some Nigerians will, at least, see a path of moral recompense to the President by giving him their votes because of that act of bravery. The President lacks every moral right to ask for any reimbursement whatsoever. His prehensile associates and aides miscalculated on that.

The recent exploits being recorded by the Nigeria Armed Forces in routing the insurrection just after the six weeks solecism, is a pointer that truly and truly, this government knew what to do all the while to stem this menace but chose the path of wickedness as they had thought that by allowing the crisis to fester ( I suspect complicity), a State of Emergency will be declared in the Northeast, then the PDP will have a rollercoaster ride back to power… the heart of man is desperately wicked

In the face of this deliberate delay to score a cheap political point which has led to loss of lives and properties, I hereby endorse CHANGE as the only panacea to this transformation  that polarized us along sectional and sectarian lines. A transformation that underestimated the enemies of Nigeria bringing about a Rwandani-treat to our people. A transformation that makes me buy fuel to power my generator to watch the President on national TV, launching a power station purportedly generating some immeasurable megawatts of power. A transformation that has turned unyielding goons to sudden billionaires. A transformation being led by a President that wants to enjoy the full benefits and appurtenances of office but has shamelessly failed (on many occasions) to stand up to the functionality and responsibility of office. A re-commissioning transformation.

I laugh.

BTW

Is Marilyn on vacation?

PAUSIBILITY: My Conversation With A Jonathanian by Adebayo Coker

Just yesterday, after considering the brain power that I would expend in order to come up with my submission for this week, which I found to be far reaching, I decided to engage a classmate of mine who has been posting all sorts on his Facebook timeline lately in a mental exercise that will jeer me to speed. It is not in my character to engage someone I consider a friend in a conversation via their timelines, I do it via private chats. This particular chat happened via Facebook messenger and I must hint that this my friend works at Wadata House.

Continue reading PAUSIBILITY: My Conversation With A Jonathanian by Adebayo Coker

PAUSIBILITY: A Cretinous Shift by Adebayo Coker

For the first time since the inception of our new democratic dispensation, a vast majority of Nigerians speak with one voice; old, young, professionals, artisans, educated and enlightened. People speak of their readiness to participate in this election but the maddening quest of a single man and his cretinous associates to hold on to power at all cost, pushed them to make a dive of a lifetime which I foresee will earn them broken skulls. In a high profile wrist-twisting show of power, the lazy service chiefs, acting under the directives of their Grand Commander, forced our democracy to come to a strategic halt by their singular act to stand against the wish of the people to go to the polls and effect the change they so yearn for and deserve; but just like I said last week, this is a change that will come to be, it is the Movement of The People (MOP). Continue reading PAUSIBILITY: A Cretinous Shift by Adebayo Coker

Guise of “No Election Break”: Youth Disenfranchisement by ‘Lakunle Jaiyesimi

youthIt is few days to Nigeria’s Presidential elections; and as expected, rumours and counter-rumours are really flying around like birds that have lost the compass to their nests. And facts, figures, forms of statistics, all get dug out even from the darkest recesses of our political community and thrown into the ashtrays on the tables before us. They are not food but information that we can quite well choose to make use of or ignore; and if we choose the latter, we rather ignore forever but the effects may never leave us, similarly, forever. Anywhere there’s light, there definitely has to be some shadows.

It is the presence of shadows in the form of threats and paranoia that seem Continue reading Guise of “No Election Break”: Youth Disenfranchisement by ‘Lakunle Jaiyesimi

#PAUSIBILITY: Change Is The Only Constant Thing by Adebayo Coker

GEJGMBThese past few weeks have seen me skim the local television stations looking for one political campaign or the other, and I must confess it has been an interesting venture for me; I hope am speaking for a greater number of you too. But in all, I want us to hold on to one of the concepts of realism which is “ the determination to face facts and deal with issues practically without being influenced by any sentiments or false ideas; it is the showing of things as they are”.

BTW: I couldn’t submit anything last week as all that came to mind was about that Hotter Big Shop (I hope you can decode), but my preference to yield to the admonition to do no harm to men in cassock made me keep myself away from writing this column altogether. Continue reading #PAUSIBILITY: Change Is The Only Constant Thing by Adebayo Coker

#Pausibility: Functional Juxtaposition by Adebayo Coker

My good people, I hope the year is starting on a good note for you, especially with the ongoing political gimmickry that is clogging our clouds? The furor is a ploy to get you to submit to either a true leader or a loot leader, and the kind of leader that will emerge depends Continue reading #Pausibility: Functional Juxtaposition by Adebayo Coker

We understand your plight, Mr. President by ‘Lakunle Jaiyesimi

NigeriaWe understand that being a leader at all is a daunting task for many persons, especially for you; we can imagine the burden of our expectations of you as the leader of Nigeria. It isn’t easy. It is just so sad that ‘we, the people’ expect you to deliver on many fronts, at least even if it’s just the promises you made to us against the 2011 elections.

Having had an opportunity to preside over the affairs of this ‘great’ country for about six full years, it’s certain you have personally had your ups and downs that usually characterize an average human life Continue reading We understand your plight, Mr. President by ‘Lakunle Jaiyesimi

Bedfellows: Reno Omokri (Wendell Simlin) and Lies by ‘Lakunle Jaiyesimi

renooooYes. Life in Nigeria may not be easy especially for those who have no opportunity to dip their hands in the national treasury, even if it’s for once. It may also not be easy for someone who had that opportunity but who allowed the treasury to slip off his hands. Sometimes, however, personal integrity, which doesn’t get talked about often, is more important than keeping a job. And that is if such a job robs you of your integrity; that’s if you care about the definition of integrity in the dictionaries of the world anyway.

Judging by the antecedents of the Special Assistant to President Jonathan on New Media, Reno Omokri, Continue reading Bedfellows: Reno Omokri (Wendell Simlin) and Lies by ‘Lakunle Jaiyesimi

MR. PRESIDENT: FURTHERING THE SCOPE OF ASSUMPTIONS by ‘Lakunle Jaiyesimi

amalgaaTogether, let us assume there is a Nigerian called Peremoi, who has chosen not to vote in the forthcoming elections which some persons have rechristened FeBuhari 14. Is this out of ignorance? No, otherwise!

Voting in any democratic election is a sanction of the foundation of that particular democracy. As a sanction, voting in Nigeria is a way of saying, “’Yes, I agree that I am a Nigerian, that Nigeria has been properly founded and that ‘we, the people’ were actually we, the people who came to a roundtable to collectively agree to function together as a nation, draw up a modus operandi for how we will live together as one indivisible entity; leaving behind the tags that hitherto set us apart, religion, tribe, level of education and possible other sentiments.”’ At the moment, this is not so; Continue reading MR. PRESIDENT: FURTHERING THE SCOPE OF ASSUMPTIONS by ‘Lakunle Jaiyesimi

#PAUSIBILTY: The Malfeasance of Joey The Donkey, As The King Of The Jungle by Adebayo Coker

GEJI want to tell a story and I pray you follow me.

Joey is a donkey, strong but only amiably useful in the transport of man and goods from one point to the other, even to the present day. Each time other strong members of the jungle go on expedition, they ride Joey and leave him at the entrance of their rendezvous. Joey will be left alone to graze about but must surely come back on time to convey the strong men back to their various destinations. Very unfair you will say.

One day , just  as another meeting was being hel Continue reading #PAUSIBILTY: The Malfeasance of Joey The Donkey, As The King Of The Jungle by Adebayo Coker

MR. PRESIDENT: LET’S PLAY A GAME OF ASSUMPTIONS by ‘Lakunle Jaiyesimi

heyLet’s quickly assume that there was never the Northern or Southern Protectorates; hence, no need for their amalgamation into what is today known as Nigeria, what would I be and what would you be? Today, you will not be the president of Nigeria and I will not be a Nigerian because there will be nothing like Nigeria. While I will be Continue reading MR. PRESIDENT: LET’S PLAY A GAME OF ASSUMPTIONS by ‘Lakunle Jaiyesimi

Rejoinder: “A Word for Professor Yemi Osinbajo by Femi Fani-Kayode” by ‘Lakunle Jaiyesimi

FFK (1)Please, refer to the original article here http://www.nigeriavillagesquare.com/femi-fani-kayode/a-word-for-professor-yemi-osinbajo.html

 

The reputation (better, ill-reputation) of that man, Femi Fani-Kayode is public knowledge. He’s wont to gibbering and one wonders at the rationale behind his efforts at continual incoherence or ideological dismemberment (to be lenient with choice of description). Any reader (deliberate or accidental, as this writer is) of his written pieces (lacking ‘head or teal’) will notice the previous description with ease. Continue reading Rejoinder: “A Word for Professor Yemi Osinbajo by Femi Fani-Kayode” by ‘Lakunle Jaiyesimi

#PAUSIBILITY: The Gravitas Of These Tickets by Adebayo Coker

xtianmuslimI have not been disturbed, in anyway  and at anytime, by the religiousity of anyone in arriving at my conclusion. Your Christianity or Islam, better still, your religious belief is not my problem in as much as you are saddled with a responsibility and you deliver expressly, my unreserved ovation will go to you.

Now that we have Christian-Muslim Ticket on one hand and Muslim-Christian Ticket on the other, where do we go from here?  Now that the so much touting of religious hegemony has been removed on both sides of the coin by the two dominant parties in our polity, I ask you again, Continue reading #PAUSIBILITY: The Gravitas Of These Tickets by Adebayo Coker

A NOTE OF LOVE TO US AND THEM by ‘Lakunle Jaiyesimi

crisesssA political fog has descended and successfully prevented clear sight, and one may justifiably say, made rational thinking more difficult than expected. Or how else would one describe the inglorious kidnap, yet again, of about 185 women and children by Boko Haram (same group that has terrorized Nigeria for years o, not a different one) in the North of Chibok? My reasoning is, if the government is yet to do anything about the abducted Chibok girls till the time of this writing, what ‘nothing’ don’t we expect with regards to this fresh abduction?

Between APC and PDP, Jonathan and Buhari, the people and the government, the new social media voice of dissent and the old order of “this is how we have always done it”, between the fine-mustached Elliots and the big-stomached Okupes, Nigerians must align themselves in a bid to define for ourselves the type of future we want for our children.

What is worse, some persons have categorically stated that, whichever way you look at it, whatever choices you make, Nigeria is bound to disintegrate before or after the 2015 Presidential elections. I may not agree. The indices may be glaring but this writer chooses to ignore them and not confuse himself the more by trying to make sense out of the no-sense situation, “The more you look, the less you see”. Continue reading A NOTE OF LOVE TO US AND THEM by ‘Lakunle Jaiyesimi