All posts by lakunlescrews

We screw Hardknots with a Smile

Jelena breaks up to Justin and Selena. A speculation?

E be like say Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez (couple called ‘Jelena’) don break up. Abi na speculation?

Wetin cause am na trust issues and the fact that both of them dey very busy. “Busy doing what?” Go ask them!

Dem be children and are prone to changing their mind anytime wey dem like.

“While it’s actually likely that teenage Twitter drama led to the demise of “Jelena,” Barbara Palvin — the model whom Bieber was photographed with has denied that the two are dating multiple times:

“last time im saying it. please calm down.there is nothing going on w him.i met him and did a pic w him. wouldnt u do the same?:) #friendship,” she tweeted on Nov. 10.

It’s obvious that something transpired that was big enough to bring “Jelena” to an end, but for now it’s all just speculation.” – Huffingtonpost na dem yarn am.


Teenage girls unveiled URINE-powered generator at international exhibition in Lagos, Nigeria



Four African girls don create generator wey fit use wee-wee “Urine, that is” to produce electricity. One litre of wee-wee go produce 6-hour supply of electricity.

Dem showcase the generator for Maker Faire in Lagos, Nigeria, a week ago.






The girl-innovators are teens Duro-Aina Adebola, Akindele Abiola, and Faleke Oluwatoyin, all age 14, and Bello Eniola, 15.


No ask me how the thing go work. Go find the girls.

But Yahoo News fit help small:”

  • Urine is put into an electrolytic cell, which separates out the hydrogen.
  • The hydrogen goes into a water filter for purification, which then gets pushed into the gas cylinder.
  • The gas cylinder pushes hydrogen into a cylinder of liquid borax, which is used to remove the moisture from the hydrogen gas.
  • This purified hydrogen gas is pushed into the generator.

And as for delivering the fuel itself? Well, we’ll leave that up to the consumer.”


Hoping the right quarters go pick this up.

20 US States don file Petitions to secede from Obama’s America

“At least, 20 US states have filed petitions through the website of the White House to secede from the United States of America, following the re-election of President Barack Obama,” yarn so today, Tuesday.


After the re-election, several petitions surfaced wey dey ask the Obama administration to peacefully grant the applied state to withdraw from the United States of America so that dem go fit create their own government.

First state wey pertition – Louisiana get 12,300 signatures in four days and still dey count

Then, Texas get 15,400 supporters and still dey count


States with secession-related petitions on top White House website include


Alabama, Arkansas, Colorado, Florida, Georgia, Indiana, Kentucky, Michigan, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, New Jersey, New York, North Carolina, North Dakota, Oregon, South Carolina and Tennessee.


If 25,000 people sign the petition by December 7, the thing go “require a response” from the Obama administration, according to published rules of the White House’s online “We the People” program.


By the second, all the states figures dey increase o. Watch out…

But another petition dey demand, “Strip the Citizenship from Everyone who Signed a Petition to Secede and Exile Them


Top-ranked Novak Djokovic downs Roger Federer to win ATP World tour finals

While Roger Federer get the lead, na Novak Djokovic get the answers.


Initially, e no easy for Djokovic but he came back up on beating Federer 7-6 (8-6), 7-5 on Monday in the championship match at the ATP finals.

Federer first break Djokovic’s serve to take a quick 2-0 lead in the first set, and then again to open to the second, but both times the world’s No. 1 player rebounded to get back into the match.

“It’s not the first time that Roger starts against me so well,” Djokovic yarn. “I’ve experienced before his aggressivity, really trying to put his mark on the match. It’s what he’s done again.”

14 year old Tumisola Ladega wins fashion show in London

Tumisola Ladega, a 14 year old Naija girl don make us proud again.


Here’s wetin Nairaland got to say:


She “recently broke into the fashion world debuting her collections at the London FDC young designers show where she won an award and the Fashion Designers Expo in Florida USA.


Joanna Marcella CEO and Founder of UK’s Fashion Designer and Craft makers Young Designers Award said
‘Leading up to and during last years awards Tumi proved to be a very articulate and dynamic young designer who delivered totally on the brief that was set which was to design garment inspired by one of the great artist. Tumi chose Wassily Kandinsky, she is truly a worthy winner of this fantastic opportunity.’ Tumi was 12 year old when she entered the FDCYoung Designer Awards but she has proven that she is a future fashion star in the making.”



She was second, beating about 22 other participants.

Pa Lam Adesina don die o.

Alhaji Lam Adesina don die. He be former governor of Oyo State, serving between 1999 and 2003.
Today, Sunday na em last day on earth; em die at the age of 73. That na ripe old age, I guess.
Em be member of the Oyo State House of Assembly for Second Republic.
Until he died, em be the leader of the Action Congress of Nigeria in Oyo State.
Dem go bury the guy at em Felele house later today according to Islamic rites. Make em soul rest in peace, Ase.



Maridonald: Breaking the cuffs of Marijuana. Colorado and Washington in view!









Seun Anikulapo Kuti, son of Afro-beat maestro, Fela Anikulapo Kuti, wey yamutu about 1.5 decades ago,dey advocate for the legalisation of Marijuana.

His words, “Marijuana is medical, and I feel Cigarette is selling legally because it is white man’s business. It is killing millions of people every day. ‘Igbo’ is not killing anybody… Marijuana is not only for smoking. It’s used for a lot of things; you can make clothes, you can drink tea, it is good, it is medicinal, it helps your appetite, they give it to cancer patients.. a lot of benefits”.

This dey happen as two states in the United States, Colorado and Washington recently joined others as dem legalise the herb ‘for medicinal purposes’.


Other states for United States dey different stages of breaking the cuffs of Marijuana.



Naija, my country, wetin dey happen? “Everything is prohibited, bad, extremely so for us it becomes deprohibited, good for other countries, especially, the United States.”



Obama wipes tears, says “I’m Really Proud of All of You.”

The morning after the election wey retain him for white house, an emotional President Barack Obama saluted, maybe with tuale or double tuale sef, his several hundreds of youthful staff  for running a campaign wey go “go on in the annals of history.”

As tears dey waka down em face, Obama yarn his team for inside the Chicago campaign headquarters “What you guys have accomplished will go on in the annals of history and they will read about it and they’ll marvel about it.”

“The most important thing you need to know is that your journey’s just beginning. You’re just starting. And whatever good we do over the next four years will pale in comparison to whatever you guys end up accomplishing in the years and years to come,” em yarn.


One history book and many others don talk details about this victory be that o. I marvel at how these people dey create and recreate history. Something for Naijamen to learn. Enjoy!

Phone-y Election and the Pharmaceutical Society of Nigeria


RADIO SHOW:   Good Morning Naija

STATION:             MeroëRadio

TIME:                    25 hours G.M.T. every single day, no be small thing

Today’s Issue:    Phone-y Election and the Pharmaceutical Society of Nigeria


I welcome every every to another episode of our MeroëRadio Show, Good Morning, Naija wey lakunlescrews bring give you. No vex say na evening I dey do this one, e be as e get. Na one something dey give person-brain tough-time. Abi how, beloved listeners, how you see the matter?


One person carry em professional body go court say dem disqualify him from contesting the Presidency of his Professional Society. The reason for the disqualification na say em never work ‘post-qualification’ for the required number of years before gunning for the esteemed chair.


Wetin his own fans dey talk na say their man was disqualified because of the region wey em come from. That region don too produce Presidents. Kai! Some others talk say that one sef na sentiments, ehm propaganda, of course.


In short, our man sued the Society and the hearing of the case na 7th of November (Wednesday, just gone). The court suppose hear from the parties involved and decide whether to allow the election to go on without ‘our man’ (scheduled for the next day, 8th of November) or to suspend the election until dem accordingly integrate ‘our man’. Shikena!


Wetin we hear? The Judge, supposed umpire, yarn on the day of the hearing say em no get motor (abi na car dem dey call am) to convey am go court. So, dem postpone the hearing to sometime in December (weeks after the election must have held).  Reasonable!


‘Our Judge’ no get motor, Okada no dey, em no get friend or family member wey get motor. I suppose fit know sef say official car sef no dey and nobody dey em workplace wey get motor. Naija men dey suffer. No?


Hmmmm, lakunlescrews dey beg the Government make dem dey provide motor or Okada or at least a bicycle to our Judges make something fit convey them to court. Na beg I beg o. Signed!


Make we go one Musical Break now with the music of Tu baba, Ole.


MB: [Sing along]






You are welcome back to our show, Good Morning, Naija.

Wetin we dey discuss na the happening for the Pharmaceutical Society of Naija National Conference wey dey happen for Olusegun Obasanjo Presidential Library, Abeokuta, Nigeria.


 The PDP former BOT Chairman (arrange the words well, if I get am wrong), former Naija President, Priest, Man of God, Father of Aremu, Chiefs (only one man), GCFR blah, blah, blah, actually honoured the Naija Pharmacists with his presence, a speech and his usual mannerisms (I expect a smile). In fact, ‘Our Presido’ dash Naija Drug Men a cocktail wey pass party.


Soon, we go do a photo exhibition on top am.


Meanwhile, lakunlescrews go dey wait for your calls make you help me halla say make Government provide motor or bicycle to ‘Our Judges’ (whichever they prefer because I know bicycle will come in handing when they need to arrive court late, behind schedule and therefore presented with a need to postpone the hearing, whatever ways lawyers describe that).


We go meet again next episode.


Once again, this show na Good Morning, Naija on MeroëRadio.





The mind is a great thing, it should be referred to as the 1st or humbly, the 0.5th wonder of the world.


Everyone has a mind which is capable of arresting time, twisting and bending it at will to make a masterpiece of intangibles that are fed to it.


Never asking for too much, neither a mind that will set a carbon paper on fire nor the mind that will make you walk barefoot on red-hot coals, just the one that will break the boundaries of limitation and step gallantly onto that shore with uncertain uncertainties, maybe.


That’s what to have. It’s like the Sword while love is your shield….


President Obama and that Number 1 Tweet

This na the pix-or wey President Obama use for twitter when he yarn his “Four years more” short tweet.

These three words together with the pix-or don become the most popular tweet ever in the history of Twitter. That is to say, Twitter never see this kin’ thing before o.

One hour after Oga post am, 350,000 people don retweet am. As at the time of this writing, 716,020 people na em don retweet am. Em get 247,434 favourites. Gbege.  Just 15 hours after being tweeted.

I beg, retweet me o. Oga na master. Make lakunlescrews sef break record…haba.

Na Obama win again o

President Obama don win re-election to the white house.

The minorities, women and moderates mainly give am the mantle again.

Obama pass the decisive 270-vote threshold in the Electoral College; em get victory for Ohio. The win give am 274 electoral votes while Romney get 201. Na CNN talk so.

One Romney friend talk say Romney to believe say em go lose. This Obama guy, ehn….

The guy win for battleground states of Ohio, Wisconsin and Iowa, California, New York, Michigan and Pennsylvania.

Romney sef try no be small but Obama win em home state of Illinois as well as Romney’ s home state of Massachusetts — where the Republican previously served as governor. Even place wey dem born Romney, Michigan, Obama na em win.


Na time to pop Champagne for this victory. Na easy prediction. God Bless Naija.

Naija: More than worth its weight in gold?


RADIO SHOW:   Good Morning Naija

STATION:             MeroëRadio

TIME:                    25 hours G.M.T. every single day, no be small thing

Today’s Issue:    Naija: More than worth its weight in gold?



You are welcome to the maiden edition of the radio show, ‘Good Morning, Naija’ on MeroëRadio. This episode promises to be exciting. We shall be focusing on the Naija we know vis-a-vis her current status.


This is borne out of an interest in the catchword employed to brand the golden jubilee of Obafemi Awolowo University, the only University apart from the others – “OAU@50: More than worth its weight in gold”.

What is gold? I’ll say gold is gold!

Call it whatever, in whatever language and in whatever way, the very nature of gold remains. Conceal it in the mud, call it dlog or ungold; what it is is what it is.


There is the beauty and there is the pride of gold, anyday. The beauty may derive also from embellishment and colour-impact from the outside but the pride of gold is in the yellow beauty that arises from its core. This yellow is peculiar, a perfect representation of what gold is and maybe not what it could turn into. So, no embellishment. We switch to lingua pidgin.


Wetin Naija do again wey person no fit yarn in a language wey dey consider the peculiarities of the Naija situation (not really that special a case as not to permit it).


Two years ago, na em Naija clock 50. That one na wetin the Apostles of globalisation, wey dash us language (English type, forgive my error), call Golden Jubilee. Na the age for person to enter menopause and to say, “I don born all the children for my belle. Na to grow remain.”

Same thing with Obafemi Awolowo University, wey start her grand 50th anniversary celebration today (5th of November, 2012).


Before we continue, make we sammer you one ogbonge commercial break (CB).

CB: (Instrumentals)






You are welcome back. Now that Oba Awon University dey celebrate her 50 born years na the time to account for the number and quality of her children and the standard, developmentally, of her premises.


Her children dey scattered around the globe and are doing excellently well within and outside the country.

Structurally, OAU na the most beautiful campus in the universe (wow! Did I just word an inconclusive thought? of Nigeria (better). And things still dey happen. The Faculty of Pharmacy, my beloved constituency, go soon get a new ultramodern (I suppose) building worth hundreds of million in naira (of course) and just behind am, the Department of Building go get one worth a billion in naira. How benevolent!


Being not infallible however, we suppose admit say no system dey wey no get comma, even ultimately a full-stop. But in comparison with the larger system (the one wey give Great Ife the means to acquire the earlier mentioned buildings), Great Ife stands tall. In spite of every every, the people of the school work to keep one another moving on them toes and the subjects are pleased with the pace.


Abi wetin we go call country wey award contract not for the purpose of contract execution but sharing of contract proceeds. At this point (orita), Ife-Ibadan expressway waka come person mind. Not once, not twice! Similar situations suppose dey waka anyhow on the the mind of my audience.


Once again listeners and this time, I need a response. It don pass two years since Naija, more or less, become gold. How she dey do? “Naija@50: More than worth her weight in gold?”


As we dey reason the response, make we quickly go a musical break (MB) with D’banj’s Oyato. No change the station I beg.


MB: [Sing along]


You are welcome back. D’bank says he’s Oyato. No be so?  That one dey symbolize differentiation from the lot which precedes integration into the whole. Woe yamutu (betides) anyone wey sing to the contrary because the order of the day na differentiation for integration.


“Naija: More than her weight in gold?”


Listeners at home, our call line dey open. Call to let us know wetin you reason. Your reason dey important to us.


Once again, this show na Good Morning, Naija on MeroëRadio.






Love is all you’ve got when all else is gone.

Cling to it like nothing else counts; hold onto it like you would your last lifeline. Love is a tower that guards and launches.

There, no failures but you got hard conks for doing it the wrong way. that other; those others.

But one could say, in the widest imagination of the universe, “even love is relative” and then put a rubberstamp that displays the face of Albert Einstein.

It may be good to note that gold is gold in spite of all the embellishments, the alter egos. This tower of Love is Love at its core.


You are welcome to the midday special episode of Good Morning Naija, a MeroëRadio show wey lAkUnLeScReWs bring to you.

“Campaign go end today. Tomorrow na elections!”. That na wetin the campaign managers of the two parties contesting for the office of the United States President yarn me this morning on my way back from the states (of sleep, if you no mind).

They yarn say even though the campaign go end today, person wey go win in the election which go take place in less than twenty four hours remain very unclear.

Obama join Romney both get 49% support. Na one new CNN Poll talk am.

Obama join Romney both get 48% support. Na Politico/George Washington University survey talk am.

It get one poll wey dem release today, Monday. The thing dey show say President Barack Obama dey lead Mitt Romney with shikini (small) margin  in Virginia, a crucial battleground state wey get13 electoral votes.

Out of hundred voters in the state, forty-eight say na the president dem go vote, while forty-seven say na the GOP presidential nominee go get dem vote. Na NBC News/Wall Street Journal/Marist survey talk so.

Them sha dey release different poll results for different battleground states and all of them dey similay, now wey na only few hours remain before the election.

Make we wait for the election to come and go. But from our own side, we dey see say Obama dey try…

NIGERIA: Mark of the Bills

It’s been 98 solid years since Nigeria, as we know it today, embarked on a 100-year marathon to…one wonders, NOwhere while never preparing for the NOWhere.


Could the British be described as being wise, even wiser than themselves, for merging ‘a’ south and ‘a’ north into a matrimony that was

almost too certain not to work and for perfectly riveting that thinking into the heads of the ancient Nigerian oligarchy (some of whom were self-serving to say the least) to a present situation where the latter would assume ownership of the creation of a state called Nigeria; albeit ignorantly.


That this amalgamation is a 100-year experiment, which can thereafter be done away with, if the regions are convinced the union is not working is an open secret. Of what significance was that secret caveat if not a loophole? Or could it have been penned for really considerate reasons; should in case these ‘niggers’ finally wake up to the incongruity of a deliberately mismatched arrangement?


Questions are very important. Why? Because they make us see the dirty, sometimes ugly but essential roots beneath the elaborate chunk that is Tree. In 1914, the world birthed Nigeria – a name suggested in the 1890s by British journalist, Flora Shaw. Nigeria has since then sailed through murky waters, through thick-and-thin traversed deserts. She has seen rough tough times and of course, good smooth times.


It must be noted that in all generations of this new country (new in relation to pre-Christian era, specifically 5th century BC, civilization of constituent regions of what would much later become one nation), there have been similar questions posed. Though slightly modified now and then, they all demanded similar responses. The one question a handful of parties in this generation is asking, irrespective of whatever questions previous generations have asked, is “How are we doing NOWhere?”


This is a unique question posed and yet answered in practical terms by the questioner.

“How are we doing NOWhere?”

“Not good!”

That response, mind you, wasn’t uttered in words but symbolised by the crackles of the guns of dissident (some, well-meaning) well-organised fundamentalist groups. They must have taken cue from the past, especially with respect to events that had the tags of Ifeajuna, Boro, Wiwa, Sergeant Rogers and others who might have been fighting for different causes.


“How are we doing NOWhere?”

We should be able to look around and give informed responses about how well we are doing as a country of less than a hundred years or more than 50 depending on what perspective you need to weigh the question. This is essential because it had been planned at the birth of Nigeria that about this time in the humanistic history of the country, the people must ask questions pertaining to the unity of the country; that is, if we really want to continue to live together or choose, out of discontent, to go our separate ways come 2014 when the country’s experimental timeline expires.


As a country, we have survived many tough times. Times we condescended to making a foreign tongue our lingua franca (I wonder why on earth it should be called that. Microsoft Encarta has the following to say:


lingua franca
lin·gua fran·ca [lìng gwə frángkə]

(plural lin·gua fran·cas or lin·guae fran·cae [lìng gwee frángkee])


1. language used for convenience: a language or mixture of languages used for communication by people who speak different first languages
2. traders’ language in Mediterranean: the mixed language used chiefly by merchants throughout Mediterranean ports until the 18th century, consisting mainly of Italian with features of French, Spanish, Greek, Arabic, and Turkish

[Late 17th century. < Italian, “Frankish tongue”]Microsoft® Encarta® 2009. © 1993-2008 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved.


Was it intended that any colonised nation must on acquiring independence retain French (Language of French…lingua franca) or any other foreign language for that matter as her official national language? How about if my country uses her mother tongue as the national language, will that still be called lingua franca?


We condescended to adopting a foreign tongue as lingua franca because our diversities, strong as they were, would not permit us to agree on either one or a mixture of our many languages. That could have been a modest opportunity to prove how well we are meant to be together.


Through the years, it has been suspicions of one and the other, acts of diplomatic aggression occasioned by the suspicions, outright offensive against the innocent public by the few Geladas who are always bent on squaring with themselves and a return to suspicions. The circle keeps getting rounder.


With the President’s comments on the country’s centennial celebrations come 2014, Nigerians have been reacting in diverse but unique ways.

Some wonder how the celebration of old age (or young age?) would improve accident-prone roads, power supply, potable water supply, good healthcare delivery, affordable education, affordability of food to the teeming poor?


Former Governor of Osun State and the National Chairman of Action Congress of Nigeria, Chief Bisi Akande recently called the citizenry’s attention to the prevalence of crime, violence and insecurity in the land. “What is there to celebrate about the country’s amalgamation when everything is upside down?” he remarked.


Some leaders feel that though the unity of the nation remains nonnegotiable as she marks 100 years of her amalgamation, some groups have so far not been fairly treated within the confines of the amalgamation. And these groups NOWhere emphasize their legal rights to choose to stay or leave, come 2014.


Further questions NOWhere  can only be voiced representations of the acts of violence already perpetrated by the dissident ‘faceless?’ groups , as some would posit probably to make a statement of intolerance. That is, intolerant of other nationalists humping together, saying “We are one Nigeria”. These nationalists would imagine a country of over 160 million heads and more than 250 tongues can and must only be ruled by them, their children or their protégé. “It’s either me or nothing!” While one party is fighting against western education, another is pursuing it with all her might and yet another prefers a separate path – the path of trade.


Somewhere significant down south, there are rearing heads ready to challenge the status quo and walk away with whatever it is they call ‘their own’. Parties are mooting the idea of secession. As ridiculous as that sounds, tossing the idea a few times until it becomes a question should not be a bad idea. How does secession square with our fair expectations and standard quality of life if you know what I mean?


The issue being raised and the public outcry is not actually about the validity of secession of federating units but a return to the status quo, where homogeneity of culture and practices were never put to question. Who doesn’t know that harmony is essential to the survival of any state in the world? And without it, a lot is bound to go wrong.


With what injuries (offences) and scars (memories) shall we celebrate the centennial of Nigeria?


Celebrating this is a statement to the effect that Nigerians are happy, content and ready, in spite of the regional, almost geographical, differences, to go on with the ‘experiment’ of an ad-hoc union of regions while de facto lives are being lost, properties destroyed, tears shed, memories mangled and destinies go up in flames; all feeding the bulging bellies of big sharks.



OAU@50: Lagbaja go storm Ile-Ife, everybody go fear




50 solid gbosas to Great Ife as she dey celebrate her fifty born years on earth. This week starting today na the 20th Anniversary Celebration Week of Oba Awon University. All roads lead to Ile-Ife.

This celebration don start since the beginning of the year and this week na the beginning of the grand part of it.

As part of the celebrations, Lagbaja (alumnus = person wey finish from the school) go perform, Dr. Christopher Kolade go yarn, chop chop go plenty. In short ehn, everybody go feel fine.

da maestro

Please, find below scheduled activities (as the University people don release am) for the celebration:










CHAIRMAN: CHIEF ARTHUR MBANEFO (Former Pro-Chancellor & Chairman of Council)
TIME: 11.00AM





For further enquiries, please contact the anniversary committee at or visit