Having lived for sixty five years, one is expected to have shrunk in stature and many times in status as one begins a drastic journey down the slope one had gone up earlier. To many, it’s a time they do not appreciate in many ramifications. However, for the only Lamikay I know, Professor Adebayo Lamikanra as he’s known in official circles, it’s the best moment of his life. Well, I would not be certain of that because I can predict the cynical reaction of the birthday boy if he read me say that, “was that a day at all?” accompanied with a chuckle and his characteristic facial expression, which I always interpreted as wordlessly saying ‘balderdash’. Well, I admit I must have made two wrong assumptions, balderdash as they were: one, that his 65th birthday was the best moment of his life and two, predicting, wrongly Continue reading PROF. ‘BAYO LAMIKANRA: BECOMING A CHILD AGAIN by ‘Lakunle Jaiyesimi
Category Archives: Happenin’
GEJ: THIS PASTOR NEEDS A PRIVATE JET by Monsieur Mobutu
‘”Go ye therefore into the world and teach my gospel,” that kinda thing was what the Lord told us and the disciples. Going to all corners of the world, you’ll agree with me sir, has become difficult without a private jet especially for us Pastors. That is the reason I’m addressing this love letter to you (note sir, not to your office as President of the country sir).
Please, kindly disregard the advent and roles played by the ubiquitous social media in connecting anyone with the rest of the world from the recesses of his/her room. In fact, the social media rather extends the reach of Pastors, hence more work need to be done. In the fulfillment of our mandate as Pastors, there’s the need to get physical (You know what I mean not sensually and if your thought is sensual, then you may need my pastoral intervention) with the members of the globe who might have been ‘blessed’ by our messages on the social media or cable televisions across board. Continue reading GEJ: THIS PASTOR NEEDS A PRIVATE JET by Monsieur Mobutu
#PAUSIBILITY: PROLIFERATION OF NONSENSE by Adebayo Coker
I have not been too frequent on social media lately as I have been going through a self- prescribed curative therapy, aimed at purging myself of ‘textiety’, as I was fondly glued to the internet mainly through my phones; but here I am well drowned in a deluge of messages that have flooded my handles, some of which are soliciting my opinion on some national issues; but before I settle down to that, let me digress a bit.
I had thought it is only in Nollywood that we witness watery rushes of a lazy coloration of our common sense, until last weekend when I came in contact with a certain man, whose introduction threw me into crestfallenness, followed by resounding laughter. Continue reading #PAUSIBILITY: PROLIFERATION OF NONSENSE by Adebayo Coker
#PAUSIBILITY: PARABLE OF THE CRUCIFIX by Adebayo Coker
Dear compatriots, let me wish you a Happy Independence Anniversary all the same, even though I have never had a more watery Independence Anniversary celebration in my existence as a Nigerian. I would not want to be disinterested in this nation and her politics, as I have come to find out that that is exactly the goal of these political louts that call themselves Nigerian politicians. They are perpetuating a psychological disenfranchisement where the enlightened ones amongst us will develop apathy to politics due to the mishandling of the nation and eventually leave the country, so that the politicians will have a leeway to act indiscriminately without any check. But I have promised myself not to dance to their evil drumbeats, and I urge you to join me by registering, participating, and voting right in the next elections, not forgetting to protect your votes. Continue reading #PAUSIBILITY: PARABLE OF THE CRUCIFIX by Adebayo Coker
DEAR NIGERIANS, IT IS TIME TO ACT by Yemi Czar
It is with much sadness, I believe, that we have, together, watched our country inexorably degenerate into a total fiasco in the over 60 years of its independence. What is more painful and disheartening is the fact that our crops of politicians are those who have not learnt any notable lessons from the country’s past or the current events around the world nor get moved by the tears and agonies of the oppressed Nigerian souls who constitute the majority of the entire Nigerian population. Perhaps, they either don’t read what the papers and social media reveal each day about their misconducts (I want to believe) or they read them aloof while we read a posteriori, or they are just too busy looting every aspect of our economy with the very worst form of predilection for pilfering that they’ve become so deaf to and unmoved by the cries of the oppressed, and thus fail to call to mind the realities of history and current times. Continue reading DEAR NIGERIANS, IT IS TIME TO ACT by Yemi Czar
LADIES: WHERE THE POWER LIES by Monsieur Mobutu
The place of women is in the kitchen.
The world is confused. While the men have become weaklings, many content with waking up to bottles of drinks; the women have realized that there’s a power beyond them, or that has been hidden from them for so long, and they are doing all they can to reach for it. Everytime and everywhere, you hear about women emancipation, gender equity and in fact ‘women first’. However, when a snake appears, the men must go first.
When the robbers bang at the door, the men must take the lead. And foolishly, many men would always say ‘YES’ to whatever the women say, however confused they may perpetually be even at their own detriment.
Continue reading LADIES: WHERE THE POWER LIES by Monsieur Mobutu
#PAUSIBILITY: WE ALL ARE CRAZY by Adebayo Coker
I had thought to relax my nerves for this week, especially when it is ominous if I don’t.
Still in shock after the auto crash that almost took my life on Wednesday night. At about 9pm, right in front of the Women Development Centre (WDC), along Oba Ogunji road, Agege Lagos , a Keke NAPEP tricyclist rode against the traffic and gave me a hard head butt. The car crashed and I sustained a cut on my toe, but I thank God for life.
Yesterday, I boarded a tricycle to Fagba as that is the closest point I could get to use the ATM, the mod con that emits money anytime of the day (if its operations have not gone on frenzy). One would have thought that in a bid to Continue reading #PAUSIBILITY: WE ALL ARE CRAZY by Adebayo Coker
WHEN VIRTUE SPEAKS BEAUTY KEEPS QUIET by Atilola Samuel
“astonishingly, on a more keen observation of their perpetually smiling and giggling faces, I realized they were girls of the notorious Fulani tribe…”
There are times when the wafting warmth that causes our sublime heart to momentarily melt into a free-flowing fluid of guileless essence, that characterizes romantic feelings, is not the virtue of beauty but the beauty of virtue. There are times when virtue makes a woman appear more lovely and beautiful than she really is. For a truth, virtue is superior to beauty because it has a greater life span and it’s indestructible by the timeless elements of time and nature. No wonder some men, by the sheer force of the subtle superiority of virtue, have found themselves blossoming in the noiseless bosom of women who, although are not gifted with physical beauty, are blessed with the sufficient dose of this aromatic in Continue reading WHEN VIRTUE SPEAKS BEAUTY KEEPS QUIET by Atilola Samuel
OAU with suspected Ebola infection
Iteoluwakiisi was taken to the Obafemi Awolowo University Health Centre in the morning of Tuesday, 9/9/2014 for a medical ritual (to weigh him and record his developmental progress). We were turned back by the obvious absence of the usual smiling-faced nurses that held postnatal clinics every tuesday. A man, who seemed surprised to see us, stopped momentarily beside us, then moves on with his fumigation exercise.
The whole place was smelling of fumigant. We turned back before anyone had the chance to turn us back. A little Continue reading OAU with suspected Ebola infection
#PAUSIBILITY: HOPEFUL MIRAGE by Adebayo Coker
Last week, I asked that a good Nollywood producer contact me so that I give him/her a nice script that could make a blockbuster but none came forth. Today, I want to display a bit of what I have in stock.
My dear reader, (peradventure you are campaigner of #30PercentOrNothing), I am not being tendentious or quaint here, but I will like us to learn as we read this didactic story. Let me add, it is only for discerning minds.
Nikangan became a widow as a result of one of those Kirakita wars that hit the village of Kagbepo. Her nephew, Ohunnikanloku also became an orphan. Nikangan lost everything but was able to escape, being consumed by the Continue reading #PAUSIBILITY: HOPEFUL MIRAGE by Adebayo Coker
WE SLEEP TOO MUCH DOT NG by ‘Lakunle Jaiyesimi
A few enfant terribles can successfully disturb the peaceful sleep of a majority of docile individuals. When such enfant terribles include persons such as the legendary Fela Anikulapo Kuti, champions of #BringBackOurGirls, Gani Fawehinmi, Japhet Omojuwa and a host of their likes, who have always disturbed the peaceful sleep of docile others, it is interesting to note how these persons are quickly tagged negatively, limbs thrown out almost hitting their faces and then, the precious slumber is resumed without a thought to what these ‘enfant terribles’ are calling our attention to.
If at all Nigerians are moved to fight what has become obvious to be injustice, corruption and so on, if at all, they quickly reconcile with their inner peace, “Who cares?”, “Will the fight or protest put food on my table?”, quickly, like a mother holds a cane at the back of your yansh, they resume the slumber, the “suffering and smiling”, the “no-break-no-jam-on-the-streets-of-Lagos-and-now-elsewhere”. Continue reading WE SLEEP TOO MUCH DOT NG by ‘Lakunle Jaiyesimi
#PAUSIBILITY: PLAUSIBLE ALIBIS by Adebayo Coker
I must quickly let you know that I have not had a good sleep for several days now, so if I don’t deliver as expected in this particular column, I hope you will understand and still give me kudos for a job well done.
The foregoing typifies the mentality of the political leadership in this clime of ours and the saying, To whom much is given much is expected, is only operational as an idiomaticness that it is.
Tactical Maneuvering is the new one that we woke up to on Monday, when about 500 of our soldiers suddenly lost their geography sense and erroneously found themselves in the interior of Cameroon. The Defence Headquarters had informed us that the troops had gone for a regrouping. Yeparipa! Continue reading #PAUSIBILITY: PLAUSIBLE ALIBIS by Adebayo Coker
My plea to the people of Israel: Liberate yourselves by liberating Palestine by Desmond Tutu
The past weeks have witnessed unprecedented action by members of civil society across the world against the injustice of Israel’s disproportionately brutal response to the firing of missiles from Palestine.If you add together all the people who gathered over the past weekend to demand justice in Israel and Palestine – in Cape Town, Washington, D.C., New York, New Delhi, London, Dublin and Sydney, and all the other cities – this was arguably the largest active outcry by citizens around a single cause ever in the history of the world.
A quarter of a century ago, I participated in some well-attended demonstrations against apartheid. I never imagined we’d see demonstrations of that size again, but last Saturday’s turnout in Cape Town was as big if not bigger. Participants included young and old, Muslims, Christians, Jews, Hindus, Buddhists, agnostics, atheists, blacks, whites, reds and greens … as one would expect from a vibrant, tolerant, multicultural nation. Continue reading My plea to the people of Israel: Liberate yourselves by liberating Palestine by Desmond Tutu
#PAUSIBILITY: JONATHAN, THE SON OF SAUL AND THIS JONATHAN by Adebayo Coker
Without regret, I am falling deeply for this temptation which I have eschewed for some time now. God knows I have tried and I am sure you too can attest to that.
Even when I was tempted some weeks ago , when a particular junior minister, who ought to be busy with his national assignment, left his duty post to parade himself as the Federal Minister in charge of Lagos state, by going to Apapa to irrationally interfere in a matter clearly out of his jurisdiction, I ignored.
I also did not say anything when I was tempted sometime ago, to advise our dear brother from Ile-Ife, to pray without ceasing because I see a foundational curse of public display of stupidity in his family. Though I never met his father, what I read about him reeks of foolishness and if the saying: “like father, like son” is right, then he has truly beaten his father to the record. It will be destructive for any of his offspring to tread that path, for this generation of ours does not tolerate laxity Continue reading #PAUSIBILITY: JONATHAN, THE SON OF SAUL AND THIS JONATHAN by Adebayo Coker
#PAUSIBILTY: AN AFRICAN FASCINATION by Jeff Underwood
There was a small lake north of the city of Seattle which was very popular with the people of the area. It was very unique. There was no obvious inflow or outflow of water but the lake’s level remained the same and was almost always clean and clear. Once upon a time, there had been an aqua theater there where water shows had been staged for enthusiastic audiences. All that remained of that outdoor extravaganza now was a concrete husk of a quarter-circle of benches and many stairs climbing to its top.
It was somewhat late evening but was a very balmy one as well. The usual brisk breeze was nearly dormant and only fluffed her hair in an occasional puff or two. Continue reading #PAUSIBILTY: AN AFRICAN FASCINATION by Jeff Underwood
#PAUSIBILITY: MY SUIT by Adebayo Coker
Denver, Colorado. It is a dead wintry period of the year when each vocalization is accompanied with vaporized emission in between uncontrollable gnashing and a possible glove anesthesia; an attendant careless show of the wrists. It is not arrogance to decline a handshake at this time of the year. Everyone understands.
“Mr Kibela, the hall is getting filled as guests are already waiting to meet you before your presentation.” The hotel administrator had informed him via the intercom.
“Thank you.” Kibela responded. “Can someone come up here, I need help?” He quickly hinted before he dropped the receiver.
Kibela had gone to Denver, Colorado for a paper presentation. He is one of the winners of one of the Africa Literary Prizes of the State of Denver. It’s the first time he would be addressing an audience as august as this gathering of members of Denver, Colorado Institute of Arts. He is there on their invitation. Continue reading #PAUSIBILITY: MY SUIT by Adebayo Coker
AS OSUN STATE IS DECIDED FOR… by ‘lakunle Jaiyesimi
The gubernatorial election in Ekiti State has come and gone, leaving in its wake shock, conciliation and much more. While the staggering results of the election has left many optimists in the ‘Nigerian-project’ disenchanted, stalwart-members and well-wishers of the ruling Peoples’ Democratic Party within and without Ekiti State have found new voice and renewed strength to boast of their ‘unparalleled’ credibility to win elections, any-day, anywhere. No wonder, even the President of the country and the recently cross-carpeted hungry-man-in-politics believes their party will win the Osun State election and any other that comes their way as they did in Ekiti State.
I have an anecdote. Sometime between 8.00 and 8.30 a.m. this morning, I was scanning for a television station that will be unbiased in its coverage of the Osun State election, which incidentally holds today. I stopped when I got to the ‘Channel of the Year for the 8th time’, there was well-groomed gentleman decked in well-trimmed suit admonishing his Continue reading AS OSUN STATE IS DECIDED FOR… by ‘lakunle Jaiyesimi
#PAUSIBILITY: THE ZIP CODE by Adebayo Coker
Starting from this week, I will be sharing some short stories with you: Compelling and motivational personal experiences.
Having completed my internship, I was posted to Ifesowapo for my mandatory one- year National Youth Service. It is a bubbly village with lively people. I had opted to serve in the deepest of the hinterland so as to offer myself for service in the true sense of it; and since the people of Ifesowapo hardly get a Youth ‘Corper’ to serve in their domain, I was welcomed into their midst like a Royal. In fact, I was given a room in the King’s cottage; of course, at no cost and with other benefits.
As time went by, the people of Ifesowapo became more and more relaxed with me and vice versa. The King would sometimes invite me for a chat with him. On this particular day, the king called me into his inner chamber as usual, but this time he wanted to share a secret with me.
“My son, Prince Omogoriola, lives in the city with his wife and kids.” The king started out. “But before he left this town, he had put one of our maids in the family way. In fact, that was one reason his journey to the city was fast- tracked, as it is a shameful thing for the royals to share intimacy with the dregs”. Continue reading #PAUSIBILITY: THE ZIP CODE by Adebayo Coker
DEAR CHIBOKFAMILY by Adejuwon Grace Oluwawemimo
Three months ago, Chibok existed as a lone town at the far North-eastern outskirt of Nigeria; utterly ordinary and almost non-existent in the National Geography of most Nigerians. Until that fateful moment in time! Until that sober point in our National history when some of our girls were whisked away from known liberty by some named but unknown vagabonds to an unknown destination to be subjected to things unknown. What crass audacity in a lawful society!
However, since the dawn of this anti-juvenile horror, some of us have not hesitated to march over long-standing ancient divides to explicitly identify ourselves with the families of the temporarily departed, developing a vigorous sense of “chibokhood” in the process. And like the chibok family, with the Chibok family, and for the Chibok family, we await with uneasy eagerness the reappearance of a lost sisterhood. Continue reading DEAR CHIBOKFAMILY by Adejuwon Grace Oluwawemimo
#PAUSIBILTY: THIS HOLOCAUST AND THE REST OF US by Adebayo Coker
It took me a while before I finally decided to write my column for this weekend, as I had decided to leave it unattended to for this week and the next, in order to have a proper holiday that I deserve. I see this as an escape from the societal angst and madness being promoted and perpetrated by our insane politicians/ ruling class. But what fun do I stand to have when daily I am forced to watch pools of human blood and pieces of human flesh everywhere I turn to. What celebration?
I had promised my wife that I was going to switch off my phones and that I wasn’t going to put my hands on any gadget, let alone adding or editing any manuscript, but on Monday, I broke that promise as I was passionately provoked to reply a guy on one of the social media platforms when he ridiculously asked: What is Oby Ezekwesili’s pedigree for her not to be questioned by the DSS? I jokingly told my friend that I will only answer his question if he would mention someone in his lineage that could rival her record. Did I say too much? Continue reading #PAUSIBILTY: THIS HOLOCAUST AND THE REST OF US by Adebayo Coker
lAkUnLeScReWs 