Tag Archives: Adebayo Coker

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#Pausibility: Asceticism vs Epicureanism by Adebayo Coker

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austerityEarlier this week, our polymath Prime Minister, who had on many occasions ‘rebased ‘our minds that our  economy is standing gidigba, finally announced that we should expect  some measure of imposition on our ‘normal’ life as a nation.

I can’t imagine a Nigeria where a minister can’t ride a three-million-dollar car; a Nigeria where a Director in a government parastatal  can’t own properties estimated at billions of naira; a Nigeria where gross ingratiation at the expense of the masses and massive corruption can’t be attenuated to mere pilfering… that will be an abnormal Nigeria.

They brazen- show feigned statistics that are far from the realities of the living conditions of the masses. God knows how they come about those figures. How can an outsider tell you the interior of your house better than you know it yourself? The fish in my pot I know so well. So I need no Fitch to tell me what I know. Victoria’s secret is in public glare. Continue reading #Pausibility: Asceticism vs Epicureanism by Adebayo Coker →

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#PAUSIBILITY: OF NOMINAL, NORMAL AND THE EXTREME by Adebayo Coker

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Adebayo Coker on Rubbin' Minds
Adebayo Coker on Rubbin’ Minds

Just as the common example, Ramadan has come to an end and a sharp upsurge in the patronage of brothels and beer parlors noticeable. Do not get me wrong, same could be said of quadragesimal period. A great number of us display piety louder than the Pope and the chiefest of Sheikhs just around those periods that we observe our religious abstinence, but other than those times, we are just as evil as the devil can be.

Yours truly was Ebuka’s guest at Channels TV last Sunday. It was a live cast of the famous programme for youths, Rubbin’Minds (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NJmy8Q_xx2Q), Continue reading #PAUSIBILITY: OF NOMINAL, NORMAL AND THE EXTREME by Adebayo Coker →

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#PAUSIBILITY: Your Daily Bomb-o-scope, Don’t Go Out Without It by Adebayo Coker

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shekauThe life of a Nigerian is not worth more than a pawn on a chess board; that is to say, nothing is too big for the Nigerian politician to sacrifice: as long as it is not his/her ambition, he/she is okay by it. Nigeria is going down, locally and internationally. There is no denying it. We need help.

The blood-esurient Shekau showed up in a movie again last weekend, even after he was touted to have been killed many times during different military bombardments and raids of his hideouts; the Nigerian government has made this guy ‘a cat with nine lives’ exemplar. True to what he was quoted to have said in the video on Yahoo News, my heart grieved. My heart grieved because on two different occasions have I woken up from a nightmare that my beloved Nigeria is being overtaken by terrorists. The thought of being ruled by some sickened individuals makes me sick. Continue reading #PAUSIBILITY: Your Daily Bomb-o-scope, Don’t Go Out Without It by Adebayo Coker →

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#PAUSIBILITY: EXCUSE ME! THIS IS A SECULAR STATE by Adebayo Coker

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Fashola-360x225My good friend and brother, Jeff Underwood asked me earlier in the week if I’m considering posting any other thing on my blog apart from politics. It’s a good question as I have asked myself the same over and again; in fact, I attempted being apolitical on my blog sometime back but to tell you the truth, there is no way one would demand change in this clime without being political, a passivist or Dokubo-like, especially with the rodents that parade themselves as leaders because people with good brains lack the will to offer themselves for service. We must start considering our stance. Enough said.

The Government of the Federation or of a State shall not adopt any religion as State Religion.

Section 10 of the 1999 Constitution of The Federal Republic of Nigeria.

The motto of the Federal Republic of Nigeria shall be Unity and Faith, Peace and Progress. Accordingly, national integration shall be actively encouraged, whilst discrimination on the grounds of place of origin, sex, religion, status, ethnic or linguistic association or ties shall be prohibited. Continue reading #PAUSIBILITY: EXCUSE ME! THIS IS A SECULAR STATE by Adebayo Coker →

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WOBBLED WORDS: A BOOK FOR CHARITY. SHOW LOVE, BUY A COPY by ‘Lakunle Jaiyesimi

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Wobbled Words
Wobbled Words

Nigerians are not all about money. Many times, we sacrifice

This past weekend, some Nigerian writers including Bode Asiyanbi, a two-time winner of the BBC African Performance Playwriting Prize, who has also worked with the BBC World Service Trust as a writer on its groundbreaking radio and television drama series, Story Story and Wetin Dey and Adebayo Coker, the author of Societal Fragments and A Man Like Me: Noteography Of a Father to His Son and a host of others, published a book of collected short stories with a singular aim of charity.

This is just one of the many good examples that may go a step further towards helping in nation-building. Enough of the talks; let’s put in more action.

To purchase the book, you need just a little detail.

Title:    WOBBLED WORDS

Platform to purchase:    Amazon

Cost: Affordable, depending on format (Just check it out).

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#PAUSIBILITY: ARMITICE WITH AN EYE CYST? by Adebayo Coker

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bokoOne of the news items, in fact, it was reeled as a Breaking News item, last weekend was the Ceasefire Deal that was entered into by the FGN with Boko Haram. I am sure so many of us will say it is a welcome development; but immediately I saw that piece on Channels TV I knew this is another of those displays of mental incapacity to think right and to act right by the crop of managers in charge of our state affairs.

I am sure many of us must have been reading different analyses and commentaries on why this particular ceasefire is defective. I have my wholesome reservations too about the deal but I will only employ Maieutics to drive home my point. Continue reading #PAUSIBILITY: ARMITICE WITH AN EYE CYST? by Adebayo Coker →

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#PAUSIBILITY: EKITI, A GLIMPSE OF MORE KITI KITI TO COME by Adebayo Coker

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Fayose-and-FayemiI am one of those that never abused or cursed the people of Ekiti on the choice of the Governor they elected in the last gubernatorial election of the state. In fact, I stopped talking about Ekiti politics the moment the result of the said gubernatorial election was announced; I even congratulated and wished the Governor-elect God’s guidance in his new ‘adventure’. But never for once in my private discussions with my Ekiti friends (I have them handful) did I stop letting them know that though JKF lacks the kind of ‘were-lafi-nsoko-were’ kind of skill to survive our typical Nigerian political terrain, it is a grave mistake on the part of the Ekiti electorate to have elected that lairy young man as their Governor. This is the first time I am coming public Continue reading #PAUSIBILITY: EKITI, A GLIMPSE OF MORE KITI KITI TO COME by Adebayo Coker →

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#PAUSIBILITY: PROLIFERATION OF NONSENSE by Adebayo Coker

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I have not been too frequent on social media lately as I have been going through a self- prescribed curative therapy, aimed at purging myself of ‘textiety’, as I was fondly glued to the internet mainly through my phones; but here I am well drowned in a deluge of messages that have flooded my handles, some of which are soliciting my opinion on some national issues; but before I settle down to that, let me digress a bit.

I had thought it is only in Nollywood that we witness watery rushes of a lazy coloration of our common sense, until last weekend when I came in contact with a certain man, whose introduction threw me into crestfallenness, followed by resounding laughter. Continue reading #PAUSIBILITY: PROLIFERATION OF NONSENSE by Adebayo Coker →

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#PAUSIBILITY: PARABLE OF THE CRUCIFIX by Adebayo Coker

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crucifixDear compatriots, let me wish you a Happy Independence Anniversary all the same, even though I have never had a more watery Independence Anniversary celebration in my existence as a Nigerian. I would not want to be disinterested in this nation and her politics, as I have come to find out that that is exactly the goal of these political louts that call themselves Nigerian politicians. They are perpetuating a psychological disenfranchisement where the enlightened ones amongst us will develop apathy to politics due to the mishandling of the nation and eventually leave the country, so that the politicians will have a leeway to act indiscriminately without any check. But I have promised myself not to dance to their evil drumbeats, and I urge you to join me by registering, participating, and voting right in the next elections, not forgetting to protect your votes. Continue reading #PAUSIBILITY: PARABLE OF THE CRUCIFIX by Adebayo Coker →

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#PAUSIBILITY: WE ALL ARE CRAZY by Adebayo Coker

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lastma bribe lagosI had thought to relax my nerves for this week, especially when it is ominous if I don’t.

Still in shock after the auto crash that almost took my life on Wednesday night. At about 9pm, right in front of the Women Development Centre (WDC), along Oba Ogunji road, Agege Lagos , a Keke NAPEP tricyclist rode against the traffic and gave me a hard head butt. The car crashed and I sustained a cut on my toe, but I thank God for life.

Yesterday, I boarded a tricycle to Fagba as that is the closest point I could get to use the ATM, the mod con that emits money anytime of the day (if its operations have not gone on frenzy). One would have thought that in a  bid to Continue reading #PAUSIBILITY: WE ALL ARE CRAZY by Adebayo Coker →

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 #PAUSIBILITY:  HOPEFUL MIRAGE by Adebayo Coker

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TwImg-20140827-121643Last week, I asked that a good Nollywood producer contact me so that I give him/her a nice script that could make a blockbuster but none came forth.  Today, I want to display a bit of what I have in stock.

My dear reader, (peradventure you are campaigner of #30PercentOrNothing), I am not being tendentious or quaint here, but I will like us to learn as we read this didactic story. Let me add, it is only for discerning minds.

Nikangan became a widow as a result of one of those Kirakita wars that hit the village of Kagbepo. Her nephew, Ohunnikanloku also became an orphan. Nikangan lost everything but was able to escape, being consumed by the Continue reading  #PAUSIBILITY:  HOPEFUL MIRAGE by Adebayo Coker →

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 #PAUSIBILITY:  PLAUSIBLE ALIBIS by Adebayo Coker

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images (1)I must quickly let you know that I have not had a good sleep for several days now, so if I don’t deliver as expected in this particular column, I hope you will understand  and still give me kudos for a job well done.

The foregoing typifies the mentality of the political leadership in this clime of ours and the saying, To whom much is given much is expected, is only operational as an idiomaticness that it is.

Tactical Maneuvering is the new one that we woke up to on Monday, when about 500 of our soldiers suddenly lost their geography sense and erroneously found themselves in the interior of Cameroon. The Defence Headquarters  had informed us that  the troops had gone for a regrouping. Yeparipa! Continue reading  #PAUSIBILITY:  PLAUSIBLE ALIBIS by Adebayo Coker →

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#PAUSIBILITY: JONATHAN, THE SON OF SAUL AND THIS JONATHAN by Adebayo Coker

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TwImg-20140814-135815Without regret, I am falling deeply for this temptation which I have eschewed for some time now. God knows I have tried and I am sure you too can attest to that.

Even when I was tempted some weeks ago , when a particular junior minister, who ought to be busy with his national assignment, left his duty post to parade himself as the Federal Minister in charge of Lagos state, by going to Apapa to irrationally interfere in a matter clearly out of his jurisdiction, I ignored.

I also did not say anything when I was tempted sometime ago, to advise our dear brother from Ile-Ife, to pray without ceasing because I see a foundational curse of public display of stupidity in his family. Though I never met his father, what I read about him reeks of foolishness and if the saying: “like father, like son” is right, then he has truly beaten his father to the record. It will be destructive for any of his offspring to tread that path, for this generation of ours does not tolerate laxity Continue reading #PAUSIBILITY: JONATHAN, THE SON OF SAUL AND THIS JONATHAN by Adebayo Coker →

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#PAUSIBILITY: MY SUIT by Adebayo Coker

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dp1870712Denver, Colorado. It is a dead wintry period of the year when each vocalization is accompanied with vaporized emission in between uncontrollable gnashing and a possible glove anesthesia; an attendant careless show of the wrists. It is not arrogance to decline a handshake at this time of the year. Everyone understands.

“Mr Kibela, the hall is getting filled as guests are already waiting to meet you before your presentation.” The hotel administrator had informed him via the intercom.

“Thank you.” Kibela responded. “Can someone come up here, I need help?” He quickly hinted before he dropped the receiver.

Kibela had gone to Denver, Colorado for a paper presentation. He is one of the winners of one of the Africa Literary Prizes of the State of Denver. It’s the first time he would be addressing an audience as august as this gathering of members of Denver, Colorado Institute of Arts. He is there on their invitation. Continue reading #PAUSIBILITY: MY SUIT by Adebayo Coker →

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 #PAUSIBILITY:  THE ZIP CODE by Adebayo Coker

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royalty deluxe gradientStarting from this week, I will be sharing some short stories with you: Compelling and motivational personal experiences.

Having completed my internship, I was posted to Ifesowapo for my mandatory one- year National Youth Service. It is a bubbly village with lively people. I had opted to serve in the deepest of the hinterland so as to offer myself for service in the true sense of it; and since the people of Ifesowapo hardly get a Youth ‘Corper’ to serve in their domain, I was welcomed into their midst like a Royal. In fact, I was given a room in the King’s cottage; of course, at no cost and with other benefits.

As time went by, the people of Ifesowapo became more and more relaxed with me and vice versa. The King would sometimes invite me for a chat with him. On this particular day, the king called me into his inner chamber as usual, but this time he wanted to share a secret with me.

“My son, Prince Omogoriola, lives in the city with his wife and kids.” The king started out. “But before he left this town, he had put one of our maids in the family way. In fact, that was one reason his journey to the city was fast- tracked, as it is a shameful thing for the royals to share intimacy with the dregs”. Continue reading  #PAUSIBILITY:  THE ZIP CODE by Adebayo Coker →

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#PAUSIBILTY: THIS HOLOCAUST AND THE REST OF US by Adebayo Coker

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kaadIt took me a while before I finally decided to write my column for this weekend, as I had decided to leave it unattended to for this week and the next, in order to have a proper holiday that I deserve. I see this as an escape from the societal angst and madness being promoted and perpetrated by our insane politicians/ ruling class.  But what fun do I stand to have when daily I am forced to watch pools of human blood and pieces of human flesh everywhere I turn to. What celebration?

I had promised my wife that I was going to switch off my phones and that I wasn’t going to put my hands on any gadget, let alone adding or editing any manuscript, but on Monday, I broke that promise as I was passionately provoked to reply a guy on one of the social media platforms when he ridiculously asked: What is Oby Ezekwesili’s pedigree for her not to be questioned by the DSS? I jokingly told my friend that I will only answer his question if he would mention someone in his lineage that could rival her record. Did I say too much? Continue reading #PAUSIBILTY: THIS HOLOCAUST AND THE REST OF US by Adebayo Coker →

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#PAUSIBILITY: MR PRESIDENT, IN LOCO PARENTIS by Adebayo Coker

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Malal14th July, 2013, I sat right in front of my television set, and watched as a young sixteen year old girl delivered one of the most courageous speeches I ever listened to, during a United Nations General Assembly. Each word she uttered on that international podium gyrated with bravery. I rose in ovation at the end of her delivery as I do not think any world leader could have been more inspiring than Malala Yousafzai. (I love that girl).

The UN declared 14th July of every year #MalalaDay.

This superlative young girl defied the bullets of discouragement Continue reading #PAUSIBILITY: MR PRESIDENT, IN LOCO PARENTIS by Adebayo Coker →

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#PAUSIBILITY: NIGERIAN ARMY THROUGH THOMAS HOBBES’ EYES by Adebayo Coker

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hobbesdLast week Friday, the 4th of July, 2014, Lagos, The Centre of Excellence, and one of the foremost cosmopolitan cities in the world, was thrown into pandemonium by some soldiers of the Nigerian Army. Few hours later, the official  statement, as is typical of reports of an official carnage like this, came from the Defence Headquarters  vide the lips of the Minister of State for Defence , that the ‘situation’ was taken advantage of by some urchins (take note of my inverted commas). I said to myself “that complied with the advancement of state complicity in lawlessness, as is typical of the situation that birthed ‘Unknown Soldiers’ in the 70s”.

I wish Thomas Hobbes had lived till date and beheld the present day Lagos, I am sure he would not have thought that anyone, regardless of the level of his/her crudeness, would yield to brutishness in dealing with issues of civil infraction. Let me put it rightly, not even a goat would love to deface this modern city that all Nigerians are proud of (how much more a rational being in relation to state properties?). But Hobbes would have been more disappointed (I am as disappointed) that the set of people he had thought would safeguard the Commonwealth as he had Continue reading #PAUSIBILITY: NIGERIAN ARMY THROUGH THOMAS HOBBES’ EYES by Adebayo Coker →

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#PAUSIBILITY: OH MY THUMB, SAVE MY LIFE by Adebayo Coker

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fayoseeeThe efficacy of prayer is indubitable; from sects, religions, creeds. I once heard a particular atheist say to me after a show of kindness “God bless you”, that was a form of prayer. In one way or the other we say words of prayers in impressionable ways that we as individuals do not even recognize. In fact, we are admonished to pray all manners of prayers. Also, there is what is known as importunity in prayer.

“All my enemies fall down and die” is a common prayer request in the land lately. As I got the reassurance that all my household enemies have fallen down and died, I am faced with a greater challenge to overcome my immediate political and social menaces, principal of which are these ‘rulers of darkness in high places’. I am sure we are getting wiser now, that the almighty God will never come down to topple or change any government, but He will pour His fathomless grace on human beings and make them realize that they need a change. Let me reiterate here, God has given us all indications in Nigeria that we need and deserve a change. Continue reading #PAUSIBILITY: OH MY THUMB, SAVE MY LIFE by Adebayo Coker →

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#PAUSIBILITY: BEASTSIE BILLIONAIRE by Adebayo Coker

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serviccLet me start this essay by issuing two congratulatory notes.
The first note goes to Mr Ayodele Peter Fayose, the Governor-Elect of Ekiti State. Some of us will have to desist from calling Fayose a conman; otherwise he may sue for libel/slander, especially with the mighty federal might that he enjoys. If Ekiti people see something different from what we outsiders see, we should not suffer greater bereavement than the primary constituents. I wish you more success.
The second note goes to Mr President for his quick recovery that allows him gulp down some champagne at the announcement of the victory of Fayose. Nigerians should appreciate Mr. President; he has been going through a lot lately. Remember he lost his appetite and only sleeps with one eye since April 14, the day those girls were abducted in Chibok. Some will say he is being partisan by not congratulating HRM SLS and the people of Kano on the emergence of the former as the Emir of Kano, well, what I can say is that he has the discretion to choose who to pop champagne with. You know he expressed his happiness that bombings and abductions are not happening in PDP-led states? Continue reading #PAUSIBILITY: BEASTSIE BILLIONAIRE by Adebayo Coker →